For some reason, I do them.
Through tears and pleas, I obey everything this man demands that I do.
My blood turns to ice and my vision blurs as the details of last night unfold before me, trapped in this small device rather than in my mind.
The horrible things they say about me echo in my ears, the horror of watching myself strip my clothes off and beg for more through sobs while they laugh and jeer.
It’s me.
And yet it doesn’t feel like me. I’m watching myself. Yet with nothing in my mind to make this a reality, it’s like watching a movie.
I blink and a tear rolls down my cheek that I hastily wipe away.
The video continues until something crashes, and the camera catches Falco charging into the room, looking utterly enraged.
He shoots one man immediately then attacks the one with the camera.
The last shot is the camera landing on the floor and recording the ceiling as Falco leaps over to me on the bed, trailing a blanket behind him.
The recording ends and the kitchen remains deathly silent, like no one is even daring to breathe.
My thoughts tumble into one another.
Confusion over my lack of memory clashes with embarrassment and shame at the things I did, along with pain that it turns out Falco was right.
I would have preferred not to know at all.
Slowly, I set the phone face down on the table and stand.
No one moves.
Turning, I move past Pidge without looking at him. It’s utterly humiliating that they all saw me like that and that they heard me say such filthy things to horrific men.
I walk until I’m facing Falco and our eyes meet, his gold eyes reflecting the pain in my own heart.
My stomach twists into cold knots as if I’ve swallowed a mouthful of barbed wire.
“Take me home.” My throat catches slightly as I speak. “Please. Take me home.”
18
FALCO
She doesn’t remember a thing.
If I had my way, I would have kept it that way. On the drive back to the Paramatti Estate, I watch Aerin in the rearview mirror. She doesn’t speak, but from the way her brows twitch and the flash of pain that rises across her face on occasion, I know she’s replaying that footage in her mind on a loop.
Fucking Pidge.
Before we left, he told me she deserved to know the truth just like any one of us would have, but that doesn’t make it any better. I’ve failed her and now she knows exactly how badly I failed her. Words of comfort rise in my throat, but they don’t make it past my lips. Nothing I can say will make this better for her.
Even telling her those bastards were dead didn’t bring any.
The estate is empty by the time we arrive, other than a smattering of guards. Some emergency with a drug shipment has taken Guido’s attention, so there’s no one to ply us withquestions as we walk. Aerin heads directly up to her room and closes the door in my face.
Two minutes later, the pipes clunk as the shower turns on.
Forty minutes later, it’s still on.
