Something clicks behind her eyes, as if my words have finally confirmed something for her and she cups the side of my face with her warm hands. “We can.”
I can’t speak. Loyalty and duty collide with the lust fogging my thoughts.
She’s right here. I could kiss her here, lay her down on the stone and fuck her until she breaks, until she’s ruined for everyone except me. It would be my last deed on this earth, and it would be the best moment of my entire, shitty life.
But a long life watching from the sidelines is better than a quick fuck and death.
No one else will be able to keep her safe like I can.
No one else deserves to watch her like I do.
“Kiss me,” Aerin gasps. “Let go andkissme.”
“I won’t.” There’s another factor to this risk, one I can’t ignore. Aerin’s desire is just a crush, that’s all. I’m an untouchable delight to her. Once that interest passes, I’m expendable.
My love for her is worth more than that.
“We’re going back to the house,” I snap, finally pulling away from her. Separated from her, the air around me suddenly clears and I can breathe again as sweat prickles down my back and sticks to my shirt.
“Fine. You’re fucking pathetic.” She turns away, visibly furious, and stalks back down the path with me in tow.
Thankfully, she doesn’t look back, because if she did, she’d see that those moments with her pressed up against the statue, trapped by my body and begging me to kiss her, have left my cock so hard it hurts.
13
AERIN
Falco’s rejection stings.
In the garden last week, I was so sure I had him where I wanted him.
Everything was perfect.
We were alone, I was dressed up, and I’d pushed him far enough that he scared Frederick away with just a few words.
The moment Falco shoved me up against the statue, I thought all my dreams were going to come true.
I practically begged him.
Instead, he refused. His loyalty to my father and the family rules clearly overrides his fleeting interest in me and it hurts. For the rest of the week, Falco didn’t speak to me.
He kept his distance, watching like a hawk from far enough away that his presence was felt but I couldn’t talk to him without raising my voice.
I wanted to assure him that I had no intention of telling on him to my father, and that I understood his position and didn’t care because I liked him, but there was never a chance.
Maybe he’s right.
Maybe I’m only attracted to Falco because he’s the biggest rule I can break.
With no one to talk to about any of this, a guard who refuses to acknowledge me, and parents only concerned about my upcoming wedding, lunch with my brother is the only respite I have from drifting painfully through my own thoughts.
“What’s on your mind?” Giacomo forks one of the olives on his plate.
“Hmm?” I glance up and flash him a smile. “Nothing.”
“I can tell when you’re lying to me, squirt. Come on, tell me.”
The secluded restaurant Giacomo has brought me for lunch is flooded with sunlight and the warm aroma of fresh bread clashes with the flowers hanging from pots up above and the pasta dish in front of me.
