The man I worked so hard on to open up and care for me, the man I coaxed back to life and into my heart, is hurting. And there’s nothing I can do about it without revealing information that would likely get us both killed.
Of course I’m distracted.
Dad coughs again while pouring his next drink, then he turns and glances at me. “Want one?”
I shake my head. Ever since finding Pidge’s body, anything with a strong scent turns my stomach, and alcohol absolutely stinks. I can’t believe I’ve never noticed before.
“Your mother was telling me what happened at the rehearsal dinner.”
My stomach flips. “Hm?”
“Don’thmme, Aerin. I know what you did.”
My heart begins to race. “I didn’t do anything.”
“And that’s the problem.” He moves toward me, slower than normal, and eases himself down into the high-back chair on the other side of the coffee table. “She told me Frederick tried to kiss you and you rejected him in front of everyone.”
My stomach flips again as I recall the horrible moment yesterday when, after a long rehearsal dinner, he leaned in to kiss me while I was mulling over everything I knew about Pidge. His closeness alarmed me and everyone saw me flinch away from his advances.
“Dad, I?—”
“Are you intent on embarrassing me into an early grave?”
“No! Dad, don’t say that!”
“You know how important this marriage is. Just like you know that sometimes we have to do terrible things to keep up appearances. I know this is hard for you, after everything you’ve been through, but you have to make them believe you love him.”
The urge to roll over like always rises inside me. That’s what I’m expected to do. Roll over and accept that I’m to be married off for a deal and spend the rest of my life with strangers who only care about the power I bring from my family name.
But something stops me.
“I don’t love him, Dad. I don’t even know him.”
“That’s not the point.”
“That is the point! I don’t want to marry someone I don’t love. I don’t want to be a pawn used by the Irish or even you. I want to be me. I want to step up and help you with the family, I want to learn the business and make you proud, but why does that have to be at the expense of something like marriage? I’m worth more than that!”
The words escape me in a rush, leaving me slightly breathless while my heart hammers wildly in my chest. The truth, something that’s been buried inside me for months, finally breaks free and I stare at my father and hope he hears me.
“Aerin, enough.” His words cut through me like a knife. “I don’t have time for these childish games or these silly tantrums, do you hear me? You are to marry Frederick, and you will be grateful that is all you have to do. In time, when you are oldenough and wise enough, you will truly understand the benefits of this kind of deal.”
“But Dad, I?—”
“Enough, Aerin!” He immediately dissolves into a coughing fit and my stomach twists with guilt, adding to the building nausea that burns just below my ribs. “When you kiss him the moment after you say I do, there better not be a single dry eye in that church, you hear me? Everyone will see that he is the love of your life.”
“Or what?” I ask hoarsely. “What will you do if I don’t?”
“Don’t you understand?” He coughs again. “We will be at war again. And we will lose.”
His words haunt me for the rest of the day and long into the next where I spend my afternoon in the gym training with Falco. It’s our only time alone together lately since Mom insists on shoving wedding details in my face every waking second of every day. She’s far more excited about this than I am, so the only real time I have to talk to Falco is in the gym.
Only, he doesn’t talk.
Today, he fights like there’s a fire ignited inside him and my request to talk is answered with a towel in the face.
“We don’t have time to talk,” he says gruffly, moving around me on the mat. “You’re slow. I need to know you can defend yourself properly from behind. Again.”
He’s barely finished talking when he lunges. I manage to dodge his punch just in time, catching his elbow and twisting as I sidestep and duck. He comes at me again, aiming for my throat and I block with both forearms like he taught me. His next swingis near my body. I block that with one forearm while swinging my next punch at his face.
