"What happened?" I push away from the door, moving toward her despite the pain. "What changed?"
She steps back and folds her arms across her chest. "You should focus on getting better so you can get back to Chicago."
I blame pain and drugs for my slow thought process, but I’m thinking this is the source of the problem.
My returning home.
“You think I’m going to walk away from you and Enzo?”
"It's what you do, isn't it?" Her words are like ice. "You leave. That's your pattern."
The unfairness of it all hits me like a freight train. I've spent every waking moment since returning trying to make up for lost time with her and my son.
“Pattern?” I roar. “Once, I was forced away to save my and your lives. Once.”
She tenses, but her eyes are still distant. “This time, you’re going of your own accord.”
I wonder if I’m dreaming, because none of this makes sense. “I have walked into danger twice now for you and Enzo. I could have thought you went to the compound to betray me, but no, I didn’t. Instead, I walked into it knowing I’d probably die. I put my body between you and a bullet. And you think what? That it was all for show?"
"Actions in the moment aren't promises for the future."
“Risking my life means nothing to you?”
“Of course, I’m grateful, but don’t pretend it means more to you. I heard you tell your family you were leaving once you were better.” Her eyes scan me, barely upright in front of her. “I guess you’re well enough now.” Tears fall from her eyes, and I want towipe them away. I don’t because my confusion and anger hold me in place.
I’m starting to realize that she overheard enough of a conversation to misunderstand everything.
"You assumed I meant I’d be returning to Chicago without you and Enzo?" Frustration whips and snaps around me. “Christ, Katerina. After everything we've been through?"
"What was I supposed to think?" She swipes at her tears. "You didn't mention us at all."
"Because I hadn't discussed it with you yet!" I take another step toward her, ignoring the pain shooting through my chest. "I wasn't going to make plans for our future without talking to you first."
Her face hardens. "So we're an afterthought?"
“What the fucking hell!” I can’t rein in my frustration at this woman. “You're the whole point! How can you not see that?"
“How can I see it differently? You were leaving in forty-eight hours and then now, you plan to leave when you’re well. You say you wanted to talk to me about it, but you never did.”
“Gee, maybe it’s because I have a bullet hole in my chest.” I cannot fucking believe this. I work to rein in my emotions before I say or do something that totally blows us apart. "Look, I built something in Chicago. I can't just abandon it. But that doesn't mean I'm abandoning you."
“Then why not say that?”
I shake my head, wondering if something else is going on. “Look, if you don’t want me, just fucking say so. Don’t try to put this onme. Everything I’ve done since I’ve been back should be proof that I’m committed to you and Enzo. The fact that it isn’t says you don’t want me.”
“Don’t turn this?—”
“But just so you know, I’ll be in Enzo’s life. So if you’re doing this to try and take him from me?—”
“I’d never…” Her eyes flash with indignation. “Is that what you think of me?”
“How can I think any differently when you’re standing here suggesting I’d abandon you and Enzo despite everything I’ve done for the both of you? You’re the one running hot and cold. You ask why I didn’t talk to you about coming with me to Chicago, but how could I when you’re avoiding me?”
Her jaw tightens. "I wasn't avoiding you."
"Bullshit. Everyone came to see me. Everyone but you."
"I was giving you space to heal."
