Luckily, they nod awkwardly, happy to avoid discussion of women’s needs, waiting just outside.
I head down the aisle with tampons and sanitary pads but skip them, going instead to the pregnancy tests.
Yes, at first, I thought my fatigue and nausea were due to stress. But yesterday I realized my period was late.
God, I can’t believe I’m doing this again.
I pay for the test, shoving the bag into my purse, and meet my security detail outside.
When we arrive home, I return to my room and lock the door behind me and take the test into the bathroom.
I follow the directions and place the stick on the counter to wait the few minutes for results.
My mind is a whirl of thoughts and emotions.
I can’t deny some excitement over the idea of being pregnant, but that’s quickly tamped down by everything else.
The danger the Bratva poses.
The uncertain future with Luca.
Will he stay or leave?
My phone timer chimes, startling me.
I take a deep breath and look down.
PREGNANT.
"Oh my God," I whisper, sinking onto the edge of the bathtub.
Pregnant. Again.
I press both my hands over my belly. Another baby growing inside me, conceived in passion just like Enzo was. But this timeis different. Seven years ago, I faced this test alone, abandoned and heartbroken.
Now Luca is here…but for how long?
He said he was staying and yet, he told his man he needed forty-eight hours, suggesting he was planning to leave.
Will history repeat itself?
Will I raise another Dante child alone?
I wrap the test in tissue paper and bury it deep in the trash.
I stare at my reflection again, and for a moment, I allow myself to see a future with Luca and Enzo and this new child.
It’s the life he’d once promised me until he’d been forced to abandon me.
I imagine a house somewhere safe, Luca teaching Enzo to throw a ball, me rocking our new baby. Family dinners and vacations. Normal things that families do when they're not caught between warring crime syndicates.
Would Luca want that? A real family? Or would our child be another obligation, another complication in his already complicated life?
When I think of all our time together since his return, I can’t help but feel he wants a family too.
He told me he loved me when he thought he was dying.
But people say all sorts of things in highly scary and emotional moments.
