He doesn’t say anything back, just lays down and hooks one of his legs over mine. I swear I can feel his heart beating, and it’s so fucking soothing my eyes flutter closed again. “You were in my dream.”
“Yeah?” he asks softly. “What was it about?”
“It was kind of a mindfuck.” I chuckle. “We were holding hands and running and right before I woke up I saw we were running from me. But I was the one holding your hand? Dreams never make sense.”
“No, that one I’m pretty sure I get,” he mumbles, but only snuggles closer so that can’t be a bad thing, right? “Are you gonna be okay tonight?”
“Mmhm. How much time do I have?”
I can’t stop myself from nuzzling in like we have all night, but Sid shuts that down anyway. “About twenty minutes, less if you’re not dressed already.”
Fuck.
I get up as fast as I can, but the pills seem to have me moving in slow motion as I wash up in the bathroom and come back out butt naked. “What am I wearing tonight?”
I lose my balance a little as I tug some fresh boxers out of the drawer, so Sid gets up and sits me back down. Watching him go from cuddly to handler almost makes me feel guilty, but I can’tdeny it’s nice to just sit here as he picks out my outfit, helps me brush my teeth, and fixes my hair for me.
“You’re cute,” I say before I can stop it, and I want to kiss him so badly right now my fingers twitch with the urge to pull him in. But I don’t have time for anything right now, and this would be a great time for a bump to even myself out. I told him I wouldn’t do coke though, so I don’t propose that and chug water instead. “Will you come back here after the show, pretty boy?”
“Yeah, otherwise I have a plug in my ass for nothing.”
Well that’s a way to sober a guy up fast. “Have?” This time I can’t stop myself from grabbing him and tugging him in by his throat with my jeans still unbuttoned. “You have one in right now?”
He nods sheepishly as he blushes. “Yes.”
Bash is crazy. No way he prepped himself for me if I fucked things up earlier, and even though I’m high as fuck, he’s still looking at me with hope.
“All for me?” I ask darkly, flicking my tongue along his jaw as I press my cock against him.
“Only for you,” he whispers. “But we have to wait until after now. I was hoping to put the plug back in and hold your cum inside me while you played, but maybe another time.”
“Fuuuck,” I groan, pinning him to me a second longer before I relent. “I’m going to go insane up there, baby boy. I won’t be able to think about anything else.”
“Me either. Every time I move, I feel it.” His lips brush my collarbone. “I don’t know if I’ll make it.”
My fingers curl at my sides as I step back. “You’ll make it.” I tilt his gaze up to mine with my finger. “You’ll make it for me, won’t you?”
He nods with a quiet little whimper, and I don’t need to be sober to see the way his eyes change. He’d do anything to please me no matter what it is. “Yes.”
“That’s my boy. I’m going to make you come so many times tonight, Sid. You’ve earned so fucking many.”
I pull myself away before he makes me kiss the life out of him, and I can only hope he feels the loss like I do. He deserves to be kissed until his knees give out.
“I uh... We should go. Are you ready?”
I give myself one more second to stare at him before I nod and take my leave, but I don’t look back. If I look back, I’ll say “fuck the show” and choose to stay with him, but our fans deserve more than that.
“About fucking time,” Carter blurts near the entrance, but I roll my eyes because I know he wasn’t actually looking for me before now. If he was, he would have found me. “Bash was about to flip.”
Of course he was. His wife is in the crowd, and he’s as sick of my shit as everyone else is. I snatch Carter’s water bottle and chug it only to learn it’s fucking vodka. “What the fuck?”
“What? You thought I was standing here trying to get hydrated or some shit?”
“No,” I say incredulously. “I saidwhat the fuckbecause it’s in a water bottle. Are you seventeen?”
Chuckling, he snatches it back and drinks more. “Security at this venue are killjoys. They wouldn’t let me go out front with the bottle, and I got a girl out there.”
I can’t with this fucker. Shoving past him, I rush backstage and ignore all the people yelling at me for being late, and as they hook up my IEM I see Bash glaring at me next to the stage. I offer him an innocent shrug, but he turns away like a disappointed father and tosses me the middle finger. I deserve that.
