Chapter Nine:
Drag The Lake
Levi
“What if right here, you said yearn instead?” I ask. Bash grabs his notebook from my lap to see where I’m pointing as I grab another cookie. “We crave things every day, but yearning? That’s something else entirely.”
I would know.
I’m helping him with the finishing touches on a new single, and although we do this with almost every song, I still won’t let him give me any credit. He used to push me about it, but it’s been a while since he finally accepted that I don’t want any. I like being in the background banging drums.
Our singer grins. “Yeah, I like that. Anything else?”
“You don’t have time to change much else, Bash. That shit needed to be done like yesterday, but you keep nitpicking. Do you not want to do it this way?”
Usually we release a song before a tour so the crowd has a few weeks to learn it, but this is something entirely new. Everyone attending will be listening to it for the first time and probably recording to post on their social media. I may not be a singer, but I know that has to feel heavy.
“We’ve never released a love song like this. Subtle lines here and there, but this? You know exactly how our heavy fans are going to respond.”
Bullshit. “Yeah, there will be people that don’t click with every song, but it doesn’t matter. We play what we feel or what’s the point of all of it? The crowd will love it, and once it’s released, everyone will either remember that special feeling of hearing it first or wish they could have.”
Bash isn’t someone who gets insecure often, so when he does, I know I need to be there for him. He has Alaina now, but she had a book thing and won’t be here until tomorrow, and although Sid is better at this stuff he’s busy too. So I’ll be the stand-in best friend whenever he needs me. These days I can write him an essay on yearning, but what Ican’tdo is pretend I know how it feels to love and feel love in return. This song came from his heart, and while I relate to a lot of shit he said, I don’t want him to change another word. “Alaina’s gonna love it.”
That makes him smile. It’s crazy how fast his entire demeanor relaxes at that sentence, and although I’m a little tipsy, I’m glad I was able to help him get out of his head. “Send it.”
Nodding, he holds his hand out for a dap, and then grabs his laptop to start typing it up for our manager as I head for the door. “Where are you going?”
To go wallow in self-pity. I have a standing date I’m already late to, and these lyrics definitely didn’t help. “Gonna go find Sid. I have to ask him something.” Lie.
And he sees right through it. “Mmhm.” His smile only grows. “Tell him I said to suck your dick.”
I spin around abruptly and find him cackling to himself. “The fuck? Most people say hello, dickhole. I can’t — he wouldn’t anyway.” Fuck, now I’m thinking about it. Goddamnit, Bash.
He’s still laughing when I flip him off and rush out of there, and by the time I’m done walking, I find myself standing in front of Sidney’s trailer. It’s much smaller than ours, but this is how he likes it. Bash has tried to get him a bigger one before every tour, but Sidney is attached to this cardboard box for some reason. I won’t complain though. I happen to have a key to this trailer, and every time I think he might upgrade, I panic a little at the thought of not being able to get inside.
Before I let myself in, I knock to be safe and try to think of what I’m going to say on the off chance he’s inside. I have no legitimate reason to be here right now. I don’t need drugs, don’t need his help with the song or Bash or anything. What can I say other than the truth that will kill us both?
Thankfully, silence is all that greets me, so I pull out that key and creep inside.
Immediately, I smell him.
He hasn’t spent much time here recently, but it doesn’t matter. I’m a fucking hound when it comes to that pretty boy’s scent, and as I climb on his bed to inhale his pillow, blood rushes down to my cock.
I want so much more than sex when it comes to this man, but I can’t deny how badly I want to fuck him — especially when I’m alone and I allow myself to truly feel everything. My hips move of their own accord when I close my eyes and imagine it’s him I’m grinding against and not his bed. I’d love to say I’d take my time if I was ever lucky enough to touch him, but with how quickly I always get to the edge when I’m surrounded by his scent, I don’t know if I’m strong enough.
