But this collar was meant to show that the pet who was wearingit could have removed it themself but was too well-trained to do so. And while I knew there was a whole other lifestyle where men and women chose to submit to another person, nothing about the world we were going into was about submission by choice.
“I made too much noise when Father put the collar on me,” I said softly. “And I cried and said no… he didn’t like when I did that. He said I was supposed to know better – that he’d paid a lot of money for me to know better than that. I tried to apologize, but he didn’t like that either.”
Vaughn’s arm went around my collarbone and I felt his lips brush my temple. “It’s okay, Aleks, you don’t need to talk about it.”
I nodded. “Yes,” I whispered. “I’m fighting back,” I reminded him.
He kissed me again and I felt him nod against me.
I knew the other men were still in the room and I figured they hadn’t left because they would have had to move past me to get out. Maybe they’d been afraid they’d frighten me into another blackout.
I wasn’t sure.
But I didn’t want or need them to leave.
Because I wasn’t embarrassed about what had happened to me.
I hadn’t done anything wrong and I hadn’t deserved it.
I understood that now.
I wasn’t sure I would have if Vaughn hadn’t given me my own chance to “wake up” like Gio had woken him and Luca up.
“When I apologized, I grabbed his arm,” I said. “I wasn’t ever allowed to touch any of the men unless they told me to or gave me some sign. Iknewthat, but I was scared and in pain and I wasn’t thinking.” I reached up to touch the burn scar on my neck. “He hit me and I fell. Then he grabbed my hair and forced me to my knees. He nodded to one of his men and the guy, he justknewwhat Father wanted. It made me wonder how, you know?”
Vaughn’s arm tightened around me, but he didn’t say anything.
“The man left the room. He was back within a minute. He had something black in his hand, but I didn’t know what it was until he handed it to Father.” I drew in a breath as a huge shudder ran throughout my entire body. I could still rememberthe terror that had gone through me when I’d identified the object.
“Fire poker,” I breathed.
I heard someone gasp, but I wasn’t sure who it was. “I wasn’t wearing a shirt because they’d taken it off when they’d put the collar on. I again made the mistake of begging Father not to hurt me. I told him I’d be good and I’d never defy him again. He didn’t even let me finish before he hit me on the back with the poker.”
“Aleks,” Vaughn whispered into my ear. I could hear the emotion in his voice. It sounded really thick.
But I couldn’t stop now.
Not even for him.
“I thought each blow would be the one that killed me. I couldn’t even go into my head because it hurt so bad. I almost passed out after the first few hits, but one of the men kept throwing cold water in my face to make sure I didn’t. I could feel the blood running down my back but then after a while I didn’t feel anything. I remember the fire poker hitting the ground and then I was pulled to my feet and bent over the desk. I was afraid Father would let his men take turns with me after he was done, but they didn’t. Father just left me there, my pants around my ankles, and told his men to clean me up and put me in my room. I think… I think he was sorry he scarred his pet because he used to tell his friends that he regretted not using something lighter to teach me that first lesson.”
I reached for the jewelry box and pulled it closer. “I never defied him after that. Not once… not until the night Dante showed up and Father bent me over that same desk and showed Dante what I’d been turned into.”
“You’re so fucking strong, Aleks,” Vaughn said into my ear. “That’s who you are and who you’ve always been.”
“Unbroken,” I murmured.
Vaughn kissed the back of my neck. “Yes,” he said in a barely there whisper.
I nodded because I was finally starting to believe it for myself. But every step forward would be about that… about reminding myself that none of those men had done what they’d set out to do.
Break me.
So I reached for the small gold collar.
“No,” a voice said, then a large hand was moving the box out of my reach.
Not Vaughn’s hand, though.
