“Gotta get you out,” he responded.
Something inside my chest twisted, then exploded. I didn’t understand this man and his words and I needed to stay angry so I wouldn’t do something foolish and start trusting him again.
But who was I kidding?
Just like the first time he’d handed me a piece of butterscotch and told me everything would be okay, I knew he wasn’t doing any of this to hurt me or manipulate me or trick me. I didn’t understand how I could so easily give so much of myself to this virtual stranger, but it was in line with the same feelings I’d had as a child when Brian had tried to convince me that Dante didn’t love me and he wasn’t coming for me. I’d eventually allowed myself to stop waiting for Dante, but deep down, I’d always known he would come for me. I just hadn’t believed he’d be able to actually find me.
That same strange faith kept me tied to Vaughn. All the facts said I shouldn’t trust him and that I should call Dante and just go home, but it wasn’t just the inevitable danger I’d be putting my brother and my family in that had kept me with Vaughn.
It was something…more.
The warmth in my chest began to spread throughout my limbs and for the first time in forever, I felt like I was really okay. The past fell away, so did the future – it was just me and Vaughn and this one moment and I wanted to enjoy it.
“Vaughn,” I repeated softly until his body stopped moving. He sighed and completely relaxed. I lifted my hand to smooth out the last of the creases on his forehead. My finger moved of its own accord over one perfectly shaped eyebrow, then down the bridge of his nose. The hair beneath his nose tickled my finger and I found myself smiling for no reason at all. Then I was touching his lips and the humor died off as my insides got all tight and hot. My groin ached as my penis grew harder.
Cock.
That was what the men had always called that part of themselves.
They’d made the word vile and ugly. I wondered if it would bethe same with Vaughn if he told me he was going to stick his cock inside of me.
Did I want that?
No, definitely not.
Didhewant that?
I wasn’t sure.
Would it change things if he did? I’d suffered through it before with other men because I’d had to. I’d had no choice. But if Vaughn gave me a choice? If it meant I could have moments like these where I felt normal and safe, and something as simple as touching the little hairs under his nose made me smile, would it be worth it? And what did it mean thatmybody was reacting? Did that change anything?
The confusing thoughts swirled around in my head as I let my eyes follow the line my finger drew along the seam of Vaughn’s mouth.
What would it feel like against mine?
I knew what a kiss was. I’d seen Mama and Papa do it… Dante and Magnus too. But it wasn’t something I’d ever done or even wanted to.
Had that somehow changed too?
Vaughn’s mouth moved almost imperceptibly beneath my finger and I immediately looked up. The second that I saw his eyes were open, I went to snatch my hand back.
“I’m sorry!” I cried.
Vaughn grabbed my wrist before I could draw my hand away from his face.
“It’s okay,” he quickly said. He didn’t move even a little, but his hold on me was firm. I could have gotten away if I’d wanted to, but I would have had to put some effort into it.
And something about the way he was looking at me had me forgetting I was supposed to be doing just that.
He held my wrist but didn’t try to force me to touch him.
I did that all on my own after about fifteen seconds of the two of us just staring at one another. I didn’t go for his lip right away, butmy finger eventually found its way there anyway. And it was so much more intense with Vaughn staring at me like he was.
I couldn’t look away from him.
Between touching him and his eyes refusing to let me go, I was completely ensnared and I didn’t care.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly.
