“He’s bluffing,” Nash said.
“Nope,” Gage said as he studied me. “He’d do it.”
I nearly smiled at the feigned seriousness in their voices.
“Fine, state your terms,” Nash ordered. “Like Mr. Romantichere,” – he nudged Gage with his elbow – “I’ll make sure he takes care of you once he’s done blowing me.”
I barely managed not to laugh. “Thank you for the lovely offers, but that isn’t what I want.”
“Okay, so what do you want?” Gage asked.
“To watch.”
“That’s it?” Nash asked.
“That’s it,” I said. I couldn’t explain this need I had to see them together like that – where it was just them. I just knew it was something I’d been wanting from the moment Nash had first kissed Gage.
“Deal,” both men said at the exact same time.
I handed the remote to Gage and gave him a quick kiss. “I’ll be upstairs,” I said suggestively.
“Don’t you want to see who wins?” Nash asked.
“I already know who wins,” I said as I approached him. I kissed him too, but refused to let him deepen it like he so clearly wanted. I pulled back and headed for the stairs. “Me,” I threw over my shoulder.
I began unbuttoning my shirt as I made my way to Nash’s room.
Oh yeah, I was most definitely going to be the winner tonight.
Chapter 23
NASH
“You don’t haveto do this, you know,” Gage murmured as he brushed his mouth over mine. I expected he could feel the tremors that wouldn’t stop running throughout my body. We were standing on the top landing of the steps. We couldn’t see Everett from where we were standing, but I knew he was in the room. Probably waiting in one of the armchairs near the window. If he turned it, it would offer him a great view of the bed.
The bed I was about to let a man take me in for the first time in more years than I wanted to think about.
“Downstairs… it was all just joking. We both know that,” he offered.
“No, I know. I… I do want this. I need to know if this is something that can be a part of our relationship or not. And I know you’ll stop if I need you to.”
“Always,” Gage said softly. “Nash, when you were a kid?—”
I knew what he was going to ask me, so I answered him before he was forced to finish the question. “No one ever touched me like that when I was little. A couple of guys looked at me weird and one guy used to sneak into my room at night and touch himself while he watched me sleep, but I figured out how to get myself out of thoseplaces. All I had to do was start acting out and I’d get kicked out. With Chris, I only ever bottomed. I can’t say it was perfect, but I didn’t hate it. When I started… started selling myself, I only let guys fuck me if I thought they were ones I could get away from if they started to get too rough or tried to pull a weapon on me or something.”
Gage’s face fell, and I cursed myself for the TMI.
“Fuck, sorry,” I muttered.
Why couldn’t I get a handle on all of this? I felt so off-balance with what was happening between the three of us, but it usually came at the weirdest times. Like once Gage and Everett were asleep – that’s when I’d start to obsess over the things I’d said and done with them, whether it was while we were alone or in the presence of others. When I was doing things like laughing or joking with them, or participating in the little displays of affection that were becoming commonplace between us, I felt like I was on top of the world. But as soon as it was just me and my fucked-up head, I’d start to wonder when one or both of them would wake up and realize what a goddamn mess I was.
And finally leave.
“Don’t ever be sorry for telling me what things were like for you… or how you’re feeling. As hard as it is to hear sometimes, it just reminds me why I’m falling so hard and so fast for you.”
“What?” I practically barked, certain I’d misheard him.
But he didn’t answer me. Instead, he kissed me, then led me into the bedroom.
