I shook my head. “He’s right, it doesn’t make any sense.”
“I’ve seen it before,” Gage said. “Three men in a relationship.”
“Yeah, I’ve watched porn too.”
Fuck, why the hell couldn’t I keep my mouth shut?
Gage smiled and then said, “That isn’t exactly what I meant. A guy who works for Ronan is in a committed relationship with two other men. Nathan’s own brother is, too. Did you know that?”
I shook my head. “No,” I murmured. “It doesn’t seem possible.” I shook my head. “Doesn’t matter. I’m… I’m not in a place in my life where I can do something like that… with anyone,” I said awkwardly. “And even if I were, it couldn’t be with you.”
Gage’s hands stilled on mine, then he was pulling back. I realized how my words had sounded and grabbed onto him. “No, Gage,” I said as I pulled him closer to me. I couldn’t resist reaching up just a bit so I could brush my mouth over his, though that was the last thing I should have been doing. “I didn’t mean it that way.”
Gage let out a breath and then pressed his forehead against mine. His arms went around my waist. I wanted to sink into him, but I couldn’t. I allowed myself a few more seconds of basking in his warmth, then stepped back, forcing him to release me.
“It can’t be with you because I can’t risk losing Reese forever. He may hate me, but I keep holding out hope that maybe someday…” I couldn’t say the words because that damn inner voice was telling me it wasn’t going to happen. “He resents me for a lot of things, but taking Pierce from him… you heard what he said in there,” I murmured.
“About Ronan?” Gage asked.
I nodded.
“Do you think he had feelings for Pierce?”
“No,” I said with a shake of my head. “Reese isn’t gay. No, it’s because of what Pierce represented, I think. Reese told me once that when he was deployed that Pierce, who was his commanding officer, told him that even though he was the president’s kid, not to expect special treatment. It was exactly what Reese needed to hear. I think Pierce became a father, a brother, and a friend, all rolled up in one. I think when he saw Pierce and me together, he saw it as Pierce choosing me over him. And, of course, he saw me as a liar and a cheater…” I sighed and said, “He looks up to Ronan… to you. If he found out you and I…”
“Yeah,” Gage said softly. He didn’t say anything else, but he did take the dustpan from me. I followed him to the living room and watched him quickly sweep up the broken glass. He left the dustpan on the ground and turned to face me. “It shouldn’t stop you from pursuing something with Nash. He’s a good man, Everett.”
“I know he is. But I just can’t.”
I hoped like hell he wouldn’t press me on the issue, because evennow I wanted nothing more than to push into his arms again, then go find Nash.
“I guess I should go,” Gage said, his voice downtrodden. “Good night, Everett.”
I could feel tears stinging the backs of my eyes. I’d accused him of saying goodbye to me after his fight with Nash, but now I knew that was exactly what he was doing. He wasn’t going anywhere, but he might as well have been.
“Bye, Gage,” I managed to get out.
He turned to go, then hesitated. Then he was striding back to me and I let out a cry of relief when his mouth covered mine. Like Nash, he didn’t ease me into the kiss. He just took.
And I gladly gave.
Then he was gone.
And I was once again where I’d been for so many years after losing Pierce.
Alone.
Chapter 17
NASH
With Gage’sdog Happy practically glued to my side, I walked the perimeter of the Fortier property, more because I needed to keep moving than anything else. I was trying to reconcile everything that had happened, but it was a next to impossible task.
He’d gone to bat for me.
Everett had gone to bat for me.
And he’d managed to get me one step closer to my dream of protecting a sitting U.S. president someday. It would have taken me years to make that happen on my own, and even then, it’d been a pipe dream, since it was such a prestigious job. Not to mention the scandal I’d gotten caught up in.
