As the funeral goers placed roses on Vincent’s empty coffin as they left, I watched Everett as he stared at the casket. He was wearing sunglasses, but I didn’t need to see his eyes to know he was hurting. I could tell by his pursed lips and pale skin. Once everyone was gone, he placed one of the two roses he had in his hands on the casket, then walked to me. I already knew who the other rose was for, so when he asked me to take him to Arlington National Cemetery, I nodded and said, “Of course, Mr. President.”
The drive to Arlington only took twenty minutes because Everett had decided to have Vincent “buried” at a cemetery nearby. I followed Everett as he went to the familiar grave, but I didn’t need to look to know it was Pierce’s. Since I was sleeping in the room across from Everett, I’d heard him call out Pierce’s name enough in his sleep to know that Reese’s accusation had been spot-on. Everetthadbeen in a relationship with Vincent’s brother.
Although relationship seemed like too meek of a word to describe it. The soldier had been dead for a decade, yet Everett was still dreaming about him night after night.
And they weren’t all pleasant dreams.
As recently as the night Everett and Gage had kissed, I’d heard Everett whimpering in his room. Like all the previous nights since we’d left Virginia, he’d been asleep, so I’d been able to watch him unhindered. He’d call for Pierce over and over, uttering the same words each time.
I’m sorry.
I didn’t know exactly what Everett was sorry for, but his strong reaction during such a deep state of sleep was proof that he’d really loved Pierce.
The first time I’d witnessed the dream had been the day I’d taken Everett to the hotel in Montana after Gage had convinced him to leave the hospital long enough to get some rest. Everett and I’d had connecting rooms, so I’d left the door propped open after I’d been sure he’d fallen asleep. Within a matter of minutes, I’d heard him talking to himself. When I’d gone in to check on him, I’d heard the choked sobs as he’d spoken to Pierce. I’d stood over his restless body as he’d apologized to his dead lover and when it had finally become too much, I’d overstepped the bounds of our relationship and done something I hoped Everett never discovered.
I’d knelt down by the side of Everett’s bed and I’d gently whispered into the older man’s ear words that I was sure I would go to hell for.
Because even though I’d spoken the words, they hadn’t been mine to say.
It’s okay, Everett. I’m here now. Sleep, my love.
My guilt had been somewhat lessened when Everett had instantly responded to my words, and I’d repeated them a few times since that day, mostly in the Fortier guest house. Every time I’d done it, Everett had let out a little sigh, rolled on his side and whispered Pierce’s name before he’d drifted off into a more restful state. If my behavior hadn’t been shameful enough, it’d become downrightcreepy when I’d started staying long afterward just to watch him sleep for a while.
I watched as Everett placed the rose in front of the headstone that bore Pierce’s name.
“I’ll be over there if you need anything, Mr… Everett,” I said as I motioned to the spot I usually waited at while Everett had his visit.
“Do you think they know, Nash?” Everett asked as I turned to go. Before I could ask him what he meant, he looked at me and said, “Do you think the dead know what we’re thinking?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. I’d never been a big believer in God or Heaven, but there was a part of me that was reluctant to discount them altogether. “Would it bother you if they did?”
Everett shook his head. “Not sure. Part of me wants him to know, you know? Then maybe he’d understand why.”
He wasn’t making sense, but I didn’t say that. The fact that he was even talking to me about his relationship with Pierce was huge. Since I knew much of Everett’s despair was rooted in some kind of guilt he felt for whatever had happened between him and Pierce, I started with that.
“I think if he loved you, he’d understand, whether he knew what you were thinking or not. I think he’d want you to be happy.”
“Have you ever been in love?”
If he’d asked me the question casually, I wouldn’t have answered him. But he wasn’t even looking at me when he spoke.
“Once,” I admitted.
“What happened?”
Keep your fucking mouth shut, Nash.
A tremor shifted throughout my body and I suddenly felt too warm. I needed to heed my inner voice’s warning. We were in dangerous territory already.
“He betrayed me.”
Everett didn’t react to the fact that I’d just outed myself to him. When he did finally look at me, he said, “He was a fool.”
What the hell was happening? How had we gone from barely speaking tothis?
“That’s what I was,” Everett continued, his eyes going back toPierce’s headstone. “A fool. A fraud, a liar, and a fool. Pierce hit the trifecta with me.”
“I doubt he felt that way,” I offered.
