I didn’t know how else to describe his surly attitude, but it was driving me crazy. Especially since we’d had the same argument at least half a dozen times since leaving Montana. I’d told him on more than one occasion that none of it was his decision to make, but he’d ignored my comment and had instead thrown out excuses for why taking up residence in Gage’s guest house wasn’t reasonable. Most of his arguments had revolved around how difficult it would be for him to protect me in an unknown environment. When he’d pointed out that at the least, Agent Simmons would have to come with us, I’d finally put my foot down. No way I wanted Gage and his family’s personal space invaded by agents assigned to protect me. So I’d told Nash the previous day that I’d decided to move forward with declining Secret Service protection.
He hadn’t liked my response, but he hadn’t argued with me, and when the director had called later that night, I’d adamantly refused to budge on the matter. Nash and I had returned to Virginia only long enough for me to pack enough stuff to last me for the time it would take Reese to recuperate at Gage’s house. I’d expected Nash and Agent Simmons to be gone the following morning when it hadbeen time to head back to the airstrip to meet Ronan’s pilots for the long flight to Seattle, but Nash had been waiting for me by the car.
Just Nash.
He’d informed me that he’d arranged it with the director that he’d be the only agent accompanying me. It meant he’d be with me twenty-four seven, but it was a concession that I’d oddly been okay with. I’d refused to acknowledge that I’d been reluctant to see Nash go in the first place.
I was caught in this revolving door with Nash that made no sense. He irritated the hell out of me, but I couldn’t discount all the things he’d done for me in the past couple of weeks. Or the fact that I was coming to rely on him more than I should.
And not just for protection.
He’d become a source of emotional support that I hadn’t known I’d needed. And as much as I hated to admit it, I wanted to know more about him. Who he was and what made him tick. I knew I’d read too much into his behavior that night in my kitchen when I’d actually thought he might kiss me, but I still felt this strange need to know the man behind the mask. Yes, he was brusque and domineering and unyielding, but when I thought back to all the little things he’d been doing for me – making sure I ate, holding my arm when he seemed worried that I might not be able to keep myself upright, his gentle touch when I’d had that weird panic attack after Reese’s rejection – I wanted to somehow give that back to him.
He’d made the past two weeks more bearable.
I wouldn’t have expected that, and the fact that I’d misjudged him made me want to make up for it in some way. I’d already told the director that I thought they ought to take another look at the scandal that had gotten Nash demoted from protecting the second family to babysitting a former president. I’d learned from Grady before he’d left for Florida that Nash had been assigned to protect the vice president’s teenage daughter. At nineteen, the girl had long been considered a wild child, but when she’d told her parents that her primary Secret Service agent had made a pass at her, the uproar had been instantaneous, and Nash had been in real danger of losing his job. It had only been his impeccable service record that had kepthim from being fired, but I suspected one more black mark and he’d be out.
After having spent so much time in the man’s presence, I knew in my gut he wouldn’t have broken protocol. On the off chance he’d been attracted to the barely legal girl, I still doubted he’d have made a move on her. His job was just too important to him… as were his precious rules. So I’d told Director Hill that Nash was being wasted in his current role, and Hill had agreed to look into it. I’d been out of that world for a while now, but I still had pull, as evidenced by the way the director had practically fallen over himself after I’d suggested that maybe Nash’s side of the story hadn’t been given the consideration it had deserved. I suspected once all this was over, Nash could very well end up back in the West Wing. No matter what, I’d do my best to make sure he got the chance, because he’d already proven his dedication to me. No, we’d never be friends like me and Grady had been, but I knew Nash was a good man and the character traits that drove me crazy were actually a good thing for someone in his position.
But I still had to survive the next several weeks, or even months, with him.
That was assuming Reese even allowed me to stick around once he realized what Gage had done.
After I’d jumped to accept Gage’s offer, we’d discussed the fact that Gage would have to tell Reese about the plan before he actually brought him home. Gage, for his part, just wasn’t willing to risk losing Reese’s trust by blindsiding him. He did, however, agree that he’d wait until the hardest part of Reese’s treatment was behind him before he told him what was happening.
It was killing me to know the suffering that Reese had been going through these past couple of weeks and not being able to be there for him through any of it. Reese’s skin graft surgery had gone off without a hitch, and the surgeons had tried to do some of the debridement for the burns on his arms while he’d been under general anesthesia, but there’d been no sugarcoating the agony that he’d still have to endure as his wounds healed.
I hadn’t been able to be with my son to hold him in those pain-filled moments, nor had I gotten to experience the joy-filled ones with him, either. Namely, when he’d started to experience feeling in his feet for the first time. I’d ended up celebrating the news with Nash and Ronan. Shortly after Ronan had told me, he’d left the room so he could call the men on his team who were worried about Reese, and I’d been left with Nash who’d sat next to me and rubbed circles into my back as I’d wept uncontrollably with relief. When my sobs had gotten to be too much, he’d pulled me against his chest and wrapped his arms around me and told me just to let go.
It was moments like those that told me there was more to Nash than he was willing to let people see.
If things with Nash weren’t already confusing enough, I was also dealing with the unexpected reaction I was having to Gage’s presence. My attraction to Nash had been surprising enough, so I hadn’t been expecting it to happen a second time and with someone who was so very different from Nash. Yes, they were somewhat similar physically, though Gage was a bit more heavily built and had gray hair instead of black. But it was the way they carried themselves and interacted with me that were as different as night and day. Nash was cold, distant, and stiff, whereas Gage was open, relaxed, and always had a smile on his face. I definitely sensed that he could be a dangerous man when he wanted to be, but it wasn’t something that seemed to be tightly coiled inside of him like it was with Nash.
One of the biggest differences between Gage and Nash was how often Gage touched me. I hadn’t noticed it at first, but I’d picked up on it the day he’d invited me to stay at his house during Reese’s recovery. When he’d put his hand over mine in an effort to soothe my restlessness, I’d felt that same spark I experienced whenever Nash touched me.
The same one I’d only ever felt with Pierce.
But unlike Nash, Gage hadn’t acted like touching me was something he should be ashamed of. He wasn’t blatant about it, but if someone else, like Ronan, saw him touching me, he didn’t jerk his hand away. He didn’t pretend it had been some kind of mistake.
I’d started to wonder if the man might be gay, but I’d been disabused of the notion pretty quickly when I’d heard Ronan andGage talking about Gage’s daughter. It was humiliating to know I’d read more into his affectionate touches, but at least I hadn’t done or said anything to embarrass him.
I wanted to laugh at the reality that I’d somehow managed to find myself attracted to two unattainable men in less than two weeks. My body had practically been in a constant state of sexual hibernation for more than a decade and in the span of fourteen days, I’d found that my libido hadn’t actually dried up like an old prune as I’d suspected. Hell, I’d even started jerking off in the shower.
What would the straight laced and way-too-young-for-me Nash think about that, especially since he’d been co-starring with Gage in all of my fantasies as I’d done it?
And now I was basically going to be spending every day of the foreseeable future with both men.
Not to mention the son who hated my guts.
“Remember, I need to do a thorough check of the house and property before you go inside,” Nash said. I’d decided to sit in the front seat, since I hadn’t wanted it to look like I was being driven around by a chauffeur or something. Nash had started to argue with me that it was against protocol, but I’d politely told him to shove it before I’d buckled my seatbelt.
He hadn’t spoken to me since.
“Nash, we’re guests here,” I said as I took in the sprawling fields around us. We’d left the city behind about twenty minutes earlier and were driving into an area that was wide open and appeared to be a mix of farms and orchards. “You’re going to have to buck protocol a bit. We’re not putting Gage and his wife out.”
Nash let out a snort.
“What?” I asked as I looked at him.
