Just gone.
Fuck, in truth, I wanted everyone gone. I wanted to stop pretending I was okay and just find a bottle of whatever alcohol I happened to have on hand and crawl into it and never come back out.
As I walked, motion detection lights lit up the area around me.
“Sir, just a moment,” Nash called from behind me, but I ignored him. The younger man had no trouble catching up to me, of course, and he put his hand out to stop me and said, “I’ll just do a quick check.”
I put up my hand.
“No,” I snapped. “Just go, Agent Nash. The house is secure. I’m secure. You did your job.”
I knew I was being a prick, but I didn’t care. I just wanted some peace and quiet so I could get on with my pity party.
“Mr. President, I have to insist?—”
It was the steadiness in his voice that did me in. I was a fucking mess barely keeping it together and he sounded like a goddamn robot.
“You know what, Agent Nash? This,” – I swept my arm between us – “is done. Your services are no longer required.”
If I hadn’t been looking at him, I would have missed it.
Because it lasted a mere second.
This look that came over him – at first it was shock, but then it quickly shifted to despair.
Like I’d actually… hurt him.
That didn’t make sense. Why would he take me no longer accepting Secret Service protection so personally?
Unless…
Before I could even complete the thought, Nash said, “That’s your prerogative, Mr. President. But you’ll need to contact the agency in the morning to request a new agent. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to do my walk-through. If you’ll wait by the door, please.”
His expression cold, he brushed past me and used his key to unlock the door.
“Nash, hold on,” I began, but he ignored me and disappeared inside. I hurried after him, but didn’t manage to catch up to him until he’d reached the kitchen at the back of the house. Helga always left the light above the sink on, but not surprisingly, Nash turned the overhead lights on too as he began checking the room for anything unusual. He practically ripped the pantry door off its hinges. He disappeared inside briefly and nearly knocked me over when he stepped back into the main room. His lips were drawn into a tight frown as he jammed the door shut behind him.
I was standing in his way, so he didn’t move any farther.
I couldn’t help but let my eyes slide over him. He was so very different when he was angry. There was always a certain stiffness to Nash, like he was constantly on point. But now, he just looked… dangerous.
And my traitorous body responded to that.
The man was beautiful, no doubt about it. He had a hard body that his suits never failed to hide. His black hair was short and cut in such a way that I suspected he just had to run his fingers through itafter taking a shower and he was good to go. But it was his eyes that had all my cylinders firing.
They burned.
With a brittle anger, yes.
But with something more too.
Something that proved he felt things. That he wasn’t the robot I sometimes unfairly thought of him as.
And right now, in addition to the fury, was the hurt I’d seen outside. It wasn’t the predominant emotion, but it was there all the same.
Hurt I’d caused.
“Nash—”
