Yes, Daddy…. but it hurts, Daddy.
It’ll only hurt this first time… Do you believe me, my sweet boy?”
“Yes, Daddy.”
I squeezed my eyes closed even tighter as bile crawled up the back of my throat. I waited for the nausea to pass and tried to take in my surroundings.
I was really warm, almost hot, even. There was a body at my back… and front. The body at my back was long and warm and fit me perfectly. The one at my front was shorter, stocky, smelled a bit and was very, very hairy.
And unlike the body at my back, the one at my front was awake… and could tell I was too because a wet tongue lapped over my face a couple of times before a cold nose pressed against my neck. I stifled a chuckle and ran my hand over Baby’s head.
“Someone’s been feeding you hot dogs,” I said softly. They were the dog’s favorite.
“He wouldn’t eat,” I heard someone say. I lifted my eyes to see Eli sitting in an armchair near the bed. “Neither of them would.”
I knew who he was talking about. I put my hand behind me so I could feel Jace’s body. He stirred a bit and tightened his hold on my waist, but didn’t wake up.
“What day is it?” I asked. Eli looked like shit, so I had no doubt it wasn’t just Jace and Baby who hadn’t left my side for however long I’d been lost in my own little world.
“Saturday.”
Four days.
I’d gone silent for four days.
And I’d hurt myself again.
In front of Jace.
And Eli.
All because I hadn’t had the strength to deal with the idea of spending even a single second in the same room as my father or the thirty minutes that followed in which my father had pretended to watch me lovingly from his seat not ten feet from me. But he’d really sealed the deal by calling mesweet boy.
He hadn’t called me that in a long time, but the second he’d uttered the two words, it was like my body had been once again lying beneath his as I’d sought to escape into the darkness of my mind where there was no pain, no sense of betrayal.
“Where’s Willa?” I asked.
“She’s with Seth and Ronan. They were going to take her to Magnus and Dante’s house today. It’s Leo’s birthday, so Dante and Magnus are going to watch her while Ronan and Seth take their kids to the party.”
“Will you take me to see her?” I asked.
Eli nodded. He didn’t ask why I was making the request.
I figured it was because he probably already knew why.
“I’ll give you two a second,” Eli said. He got up and urged Baby to follow him. I gave the big dog a pat as he got off the bed, then carefully rolled over so I was facing Jace. He looked as exhausted asI felt. I ran my fingers over his face and through the curls of his hair. I smiled as I remembered how often I’d imagined being able to do this very thing. Now he was mine and I could do it to my heart’s content.
And probably would.
He came awake slowly, but the second his eyes landed on mine, he closed them and let out this huge sigh of relief. “Thank you,” he whispered, though I wasn’t sure who he was thanking. He opened his eyes again and then tugged me closer to him.
“I’m sorr—”
That was all I got out before he kissed me. It was a sweet, searching kiss that I felt in the very marrow of my bones and it chased away the little bit of the remaining chill that my father’s words had left behind.
“Missed you,” Jace said softly.
“Missed you too,” I responded. “I heard you, Jace. Every word. I felt every touch. It made it easier to come back to you.”
