The first thing I noticed when I walked into the bathroom wasthat it was empty, except for one closed stall at the end. The second thing I noticed was that a small corner of the large mirror was broken and that several pieces of glass were on the floor.
My heart was pounding in my chest as I rushed to the last stall. “Caleb!” I shouted.
“I’m sorry, Jace,” I heard him softly say.
I was about to break the door down when the latch flipped. I yanked it open and felt my heart sink at the sight of Caleb leaning back against the side of the stall, his jacket removed and his sleeve rolled up.
And there they were.
Three perfect cuts on the inside of his lower arm.
I felt my throat close up with tears as my eyes lifted to meet Caleb’s gaze. He looked both heartbroken and relieved at the same time. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. A couple of tears slipped down his face.
“Caleb?” I heard Eli call behind me.
Caleb let out a choked sob and I quickly pulled him into my arms, not caring about the blood on his arm. “It’s okay,” I whispered softly into his ear. Caleb began to cry.
“I had to,” he croaked.
“I know, baby,” I assured him.
I heard a gasp behind us, but didn’t need to see who it was.
“I’ll stand guard outside,” I heard Mav say.
“Caleb,” Eli cried out, and as I released Caleb, I saw Eli turning to get some paper towels from the dispenser.
“I’m sorry,” Caleb told his brother.
“It’s okay,” Eli said, his voice shaky as he gently pressed the paper towels to the wounds.
Caleb let out a rough sob and then he was pushing into Eli’s arms. I took over holding the paper towels against Caleb’s arm as his brother held him and just let him cry. When Caleb had calmed, Eli released him and gently pulled him from the stall. We got him to the sink and Eli held onto Caleb as I quickly cleaned the cuts. Fortunately, they weren’t deep.
“I’ll go tell the prosecutor we’re not doing this today,” Eli said as he wiped at his brother’s face.
“No,” Caleb said, grabbing Eli’s arm before he could leave. “Please, I need to do this now. I’ll… I’ll be okay.” His eyes fell to his own arm, then he was looking at me. “Jace, please, I have to do this.”
“We can talk to the judge… try to explain.”
Caleb shook his head. “If he finds out about this,” – he motioned to his arm – “he might say I’m crazy or something. He’ll believe my father’s story that I made all of it up.”
Part of me knew he was right, but the other part of me just wanted to get him home where I could keep him safe. I traded glances with Eli and could tell he was just as reluctant as me to let this continue. But Calebdidseem calmer and while I hated how he’d gone about it, I couldn’t take this from him – he’d never be able to move on with his life if his father walked.
I finally nodded, and when Caleb looked at Eli, he said, “If you have to stop at any time while you’re in there, you just tell the prosecutor and that’s it. No arguments,” he said firmly.
“Okay,” Caleb said solemnly. “Promise.”
As he and Eli talked, I covered the still-bleeding cuts with some more paper towels and used my hair tie to secure the makeshift bandage to his arm, much like he had the day he’d hurt himself when we’d boarded Dalton’s boat. Luckily, there wasn’t any blood on his shirt. Eli helped him get his jacket back on and then I took his hand in mine and led him from the bathroom. When we reached the judge’s chambers, I held him for a long time and whispered in his ear that I’d be there the moment he was done and that I loved him. He nodded against me, but didn’t speak.
My gut was screaming at me that I was making a terrible mistake by letting him do this, but I forced myself to let Caleb go.
For once, I hated that my instincts were usually spot-on.
Because less than thirty minutes later, a very pale and deathly silent Caleb emerged from the room.
And I completely lost it.
Because I’d only seen him like this one other time - that firstnight in the cabin when I’d discovered the scars on his arm and he’d told me that he was too far gone to fix.
