“Because he—” Izaac stops and gives a half shrug. “Never mind.”
“You’re supposed to go through all the steps before you get to the end. I know you’re eager to get to the kissing part, but you need to learn some patience,” Sebastian says.
“I’m about to fire you,” Grady warns. “Anyone told you that you’re a fucking terrible celebrant?”
“You can’t fire me if you’re not paying me.”
“You can fire unwanted volunteers,” Grady snaps back.
“I didn’t volunteer as tribute,” Sebastian says.
Grady scrunches his face up in confused disgust. “As what?”
“Someone seriously needs to sit down and make you watch movies. How can I make smart remarks when you don’t even understand my references?”
“It’s a real tragedy,” Grady deadpans. “I’m the groom, and you have to do what I say, so skip to the kissing part.”
“Are you planning to be this impatient at your wedding?” Sebastian asks with an amused smirk.
“Thisismy wedding. Seriously, what kind of celebrant are you?”
“The kind that isn’t one.”
Izaac glances between us, hesitating. “So… is anyone getting married today?”
“We are,” Grady says sternly. “Now hurry the fuck up.”
Sebastian holds out his hand. “Do you have the rings?”
I show the one I got for Grady, practically vibrating from the excitement of knowing I get to put it on him. I’m not expecting Grady to have my ring on him. Except he reaches inside his jacket and pulls out his own small black box.
“You have mine on you,” I say, shocked.
“Didn’t want to lose it,” Grady grumbles, almost sounding embarrassed.
“Excellent. Now”—Sebastian clears his throat again—“Dearly beloved, we are here—”
“Fucking hell, Seb.”
“Do you, Grady… What’s your middle name?”
“You don’t need my middle name.”
“It’s important.”
“For fuck’s sake. It’s Alfred.”
Sebastian pauses. “Seriously?”
“It was my grandfather’s name. You make fun of it at all, and I’m punching you in the face. You can still marry us with a broken nose.”
Sebastian does another throat clear. Is he doing that on purpose? He can’t possibly have that much phlegm in there. “Do you, Grady Alfred Donehue, take this man to be your wedded husband?”
“I do.”
“Is this what they actually say, or are you taking all this from the movies?” Izaac asks curiously. “Should I google it for you?”
“Movies are a font of information,” Sebastian says. “We can worry about real details for the other wedding.”
