Sitting up, I pull my legs away and tuck them under myself. “Do you still want this?” I don’t really want to ask the question. I’m afraid of the answer. But the answer is too important to skirt around.
“What are you talking about? Of course, I do.”
“I don’t know that I believe you. Every time I talk about wedding stuff, you clam up. And you’ve been weird all afternoon—hell, for a while now—and I… Grady, I just want you to talk to me. It doesn’t matter if you want to leave things the way they are, if you don’t want to get married. As long as I have you, the only thing that matters is that you’re happy. If that doesn’t include rings, then it doesn’t include rings.” Will I still get to keep the ring if he calls it off? I love everything about it. The one that I’m having made for Grady in secret would just… sit in my drawer, I guess. I’m not giving that up either.
“Jesus, Lake. Where the hell is this coming from? I would never have proposed if I wasn’t sure about it. Not after everything.”
That’s what I’d thought too. It’s why I’ve let this drag on for so long without bringing it up. But I can’t ignore it any longer. There’s a chasm between us that’s slowly opening wider every day. If I don’t fix it now, it’ll only get bigger. I don’t want to lose Grady; I don’t know how I could live without him, so we need to get this out now.
“Then I don’t understand. Talk to me. I know that it’s difficult, and that you’re scared, given what happened in the past, but I’m here, and I want to help.”
“Lake—”
“This isn’t like that situation, in any way. I hope that you know that. I would walk down the aisle today if I could. But if it’s not something that you actually want, and you were just doing it because you think a relationship has to take this next step to be… tobe, then maybe we shouldn’t—”
Grady cuts me off with a tug on my ankle. “Come here.” I don’t need any coaxing to crawl into his lap and snuggle against his large body, soaking in his warmth. He knows exactly what I need: a hug to calm the panic rising in my chest.
Grady kisses me softly, and I melt, needing more. “The last time I was engaged, that’s exactly what it was,” he whispers. “I did it because I thought we had to. You’re right thatthis,here with you, is nothing like that. What I feel for you is more than I’ve felt for anyone before. Not even close.” He brushes his knuckles over my temple, tickling my hair. “There is nothing I want more than to call you my husband.” He nuzzles across my jaw and up and around until his nose hits my ear. “To have you tied to me.” He licks the outer shell, a full-body shiver running through me at the contact. “To have you bear my name.”
I want that too. So fucking much. “I already am tied to you,” I murmur, turning my head to find his mouth. He’ll never get rid of me. I don’t need a wedding to stand up and tell everyone that he’s the love of my life. I’d do it anywhere. Family barbecue, shopping trip—I bet I could convince someone to let me use their PA system to do it—or someone’s birthday party. I’d never pass up an opportunity to let the world know that I was the one lucky enough to snag this incredible man. That I know his worth, and I have no intention of letting him go, and everyone who missed out will just have to deal with their loss.
“I proposed because I want to marry you, Lake. There are no other reasons. If I thought it was a stepping stone, I’d have been smarter and waited until it was more appropriate. We haven’t even known each other a year, and we’re rushing this. After my last engagement, I should know better. But I can’t control myself when it comes to you. I can’t wait, mistake or not.”
Lifting myself and sliding my arms around his shoulders, I kiss him softly. “It’s not a mistake. I don’t want to wait either.” That sounds like torture. I can admit that before Grady proposed, I hadn’t thought about getting married this soon, but now that he has, waiting is way out of the question.
Grady smooths his thumb across my jaw and then coaxes me down for a deeper, longer kiss.
Before I can get us naked, a wet nose shoves between us. Hades, who’s been snoring in his bed for the last hour, has apparently woken and wants attention. He shoves himself between us so he can get into Grady’s lap. I can’t blame him; it’s the best place in the world.
Grady winces and shifts Hades’ paws away from certain parts of his anatomy that are still worked up from our kiss.
“Do you need to go outside?” Grady asks, scratching Hades’ neck.
“We could take him to the dog park? I think they have lights?” Pretty sure the last time we were there it was starting to darken, and they’d automatically switched on.
Grady nips the side of my throat. “If you clip him into his harness, I’ll find his treats.”
“I… might have left them by the pool?” Possibly in the pool. I can keep that tidbit of information to myself. It might not even be true, so why bring it up yet? They could be inside in the jar where they’re supposed to be, for all I know.
Grady chuckles, a deep vibration that makes me want to haul him to the bedroom to get naked right now.
Except that Hades has already heard the words “dog park” and is already running in excited circles, chasing his tail and barking. He stops, crouches low to the ground, and watches us. The second I stand, he barks, runs at me, stops halfway to me, and then races off towards the front door.
Yeah, we’re not getting out of going now. I have to remember to spell words out until he figures out how to spell. Then we’re fucked.
By the time Grady returns with treats—that aren’t wet, so I’m glad I didn’t say anything—I’ve calmed Hades down enough to get him into his walking gear.
“There are decidedly fewer of these than I remember there being a few days ago.”
Clipping the leash to Hades’ harness, I stand and grin. “He deserves a treat when he looks cute.” Which isall the time. It’s hardly my fault we got such a looker.
“That’s not how treats work.”
“Sure it is. He does something cute, and I feed him. Works great.”
“Uh-huh.”
Beaming, I bounce towards the front door, my shoes already on. I amready. I even found two tennis balls and shoved themin my pocket. Some of them are random ones Hades has picked up on walks.
