“At all.” Sebastian’s lopsided grin is as annoying as ever. “That doesn’t really answer your question, does it?”
“No.”
“This is about Lake, right? Because he was straight before you?”
Intuitiveness is so unattractive. “Yes and no.” I don’t need to rehash how much I’d pushed Lake about his sexuality when we’d been… whatever we’d been doing before this. He doesn’t deserve for me to question that again. That’s not what this is about. We’re getting married, for fuck’s sake. If Lake were playing gay chicken, he’d have ducked out by now.
Though that line of inquiry isn’t a certainty given who Lake is. But thepointis that it’s not part of the equation. We’re past that.
“An ex?”
“How’d you deduce that?” I ask dryly. Lawyers are the fucking worst.
“I’m pretty clever.”
“Is that what your mum told you?”
“Sweet-talking me in order to distract me isn’t going to work. Not today, at least. Did something happen with one of Lake’s exes?”
“I’m not talking to you about this.” Not with anyone but especially not with this man. I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him.
Sebastian dumps the empty chocolate packet in the bin and grabs out two bottles of water from the fridge, tossing me one. “You were around when Quinn was dating that cop, right?”
“Quinn’s a cop,” I choose to point out because I like pissing him off. “Also, yes.”
Sebastian waves me off, not taking the bait. Today is just full of disappointments. “I saw them together a few times. I hated every second of it. Every time he touched Quinn, even an innocent brush of fingers, every time Quinn smiled at whatever the fuck he said, I wanted to murder someone. Him, specifically. Will admitting that get me arrested?”
“I’ll use any excuse to arrest you, but my cuffs are in the car.” And the only reason I’m going back out there is to leave.
“A real shame.”
It really is. I couldn’t think of anything more professionally satisfying than arresting his smug face. “Why are you telling me this?” I don’t care about his previousorcurrent relationship with my partner. Quinn’s terrible choices are his own.
“If I saw him today, or tomorrow, or a year from now, next to Quinn,touchinghim, I’d still feel the same. Quinn is mine now, and I’ll never doubt that. Not his love for me, or for Will, Peyton, and Jericho. His devotion, his loyalty, any of it. That wouldn’t stop me from hating it or wanting to get Quinn as far as humanly possible away from him.”
That feeling is familiar. It’s less about Lake and more about her. Which I’m perfectly aware is irrational and unfair on so many levels. Not only is she engaged to someone who isn’t Lake, but I’ve never been like that. I’ve never worried that a partner will stray or cared if they were close friends with an ex. I obviously should have, considering how both of my relationships ended, but I chose to trust the people I’d invited into my personal space. A mistake, but I don’t believe for a second that Lake is like them in any way.
So I don’t know why seeing her hands on Lake had dread curling in my stomach and anguish squeezing my chest. It’s still there, sitting under the surface like a dull ache. In that moment,I felt like if I didn’t hold tight enough, then Lake would slip through my fingers like fine sand. I’m not that person, and I don’t want tobethat person.
It’s wedding nerves, that’s all it is. Perfectly normal. I’ve been through this before. I don’t remember most of it, that time a blur and the memories deliberately forgotten at the bottom of a bottle, but that doesn’t change the facts. I got through it then; I can get through it now. And the result this time will be so much more worth the effort because Lake will be the one standing with me at the end of the aisle.
“This silence between us is a good sign,” Sebastian says, neatly slicing through my thoughts and dragging me back to reality.
“What?”
“Are you about to propose to me? I’m ready.”
“You like listening to yourself talk, don’t you?”
“With a voice like mine, why not?”
I can’t help rolling my eyes, the clock turning back, and I’m suddenly a petulant teenager again. “I could take it or leave it.”
Sebastian leans back against the opposite counter, crossing his arms over his chest and stretching the arms of his white button-down. “Did something specific happen that bothered you?”
Am I really doing this? Here, and with this man, of all people? I close my eyes briefly. Fuck it. “He thought she might be the one, once. And they broke up because she moved, not because he chose to break up.” That wasn’t quite what I’d meant to say, but now that it’s out there, a new fear’s been unlocked.
“And she’s back, and you’re worried that what? They’re going to pick up where they left off?”
