Vivian inhaled, sighed, and said, “Imani decided to go home.”
The words took a second to register in her brain, and when they did, Sienna snapped her head to the deck where the ladies were supposed to stand for the ceremony but hadn’t yet made their grand entrance. All she could see were lanterns glowing honey-gold against the dark bush and white rose petals scattered along a path. A few of the camera crew scuttled about.
Sienna’s first instinct was to askwhy, but what came out instead was a small, flat, “Oh.” It felt necessary to accept Imani quitting and not question it. Maybe it was because Sienna hadn’t spent much time with Imani—hardly any, actually—and the few times they had talked, it was just about a few surface-level things. But still, wasn’t that the point of this?
“Are you okay to continue?” Vivian asked.
“Of course,” Sienna said quickly. But for some reason, something inside of her cracked. It was quiet and clean, like the soft split of glass under pressure. She hadn’t expected it. In fact, she didn’t even want to think about what it meant. But it was there. A crack. “Why wouldn’t I be? It makes it easier. One less person to send home,” she said, forcing a smile that felt too tight on her face. She probably looked unhinged.
“You know you don’t have to pretend it doesn’t bother you.”
“It doesn’t,” Sienna said. It was a lie, and she knew it. Imani’s leavingdidbother her. Not as much as Vivian telling her that sleeping with her was a mistake, but it was definitely up there in the top five things that bothered her this week. “I’m fine. Seriously. I promise.”
Vivian didn’t look convinced, but why would she? Sienna’s voice was threadbare. It frayed at the seams.
“Okay,” Vivian said, flicking her gaze to the open lodge doors, where two camera crew wearing all black came walking through carrying a pair of Steadicams. When she looked back, her eyes met Sienna’s. Under the golden light, they looked brighter than ever. “You should probably get ready. The rose ceremony is starting soon, and production still expects you to send a contestant home tonight. Do you have someone in mind? I can help you bounce around some ideas if you’re struggling.”
“I do,” Sienna muttered. The words felt ice cold on her breath. She had no idea why her blood was suddenly boiling. Only that it had nothing to do with the rose ceremony and everything to do with Vivian. With how she was acting so normal. As if she hadn’t lost herself between Sienna’s thighs last night. “And no, thank you. I don’t need your help. Now, if you don’t mind,” she said, stepping past Vivian even though she shouldn’t be going anywhere. Her place was under the acacia tree next to that stupid elephant statue.
“Where are you going?” Vivian called after her.
Sienna didn’t turn back. And she didn’t respond. She simply kept walking down the steps to the wooden pathway, past the tents, until the shadows of the trees above her head became unfamiliar. She walked until she couldn’t see the light from the main deck. Then she continued until she reached a tiny platform perched above the river, barely bigger than a cardboard box.
“Where the hell am I?” she asked herself. This was the first time she’d ever ventured this far out. Which was why, when a voice came out of the shadows saying, “This is the observation deck,” Sienna not only jumped but screamed as well.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” It was Themba. He was leaning against the railing. A single lantern glowed faintly where the two rails met. It wasn’t bright, but it gave just enough light to catch the edge of his face.
“It’s fine,” Sienna said, though her heart was still running a hundred miles an hour. “I didn’t know anyone was here.” She turned to leave, but her feet hesitated. She didn’t want to go back. She didn’t want to face the remaining contestants. She wouldn’t be surprised if they already knew that Imani was going home, and that it was her decision to leave the show.
“Why don’t you stay for a bit?” Themba asked. “Usually, the hippos leave the water to graze on land for the night, but there are still a few out there.” He pointed toward the riverbank.
Sienna could just make out the rounded shapes of their backs. There were four hippos in total. One let out a low, wet grunt, and then another. Before Themba could ask again, Sienna was already gravitating toward the railing.
Themba didn’t speak again. He just watched the silver streak of moonlight on the river. Sienna did the same. She leaned forward and rested her elbows on the railing. Every now and then a hippo moved, sending a ripple through the reflection, warping the moon into soft, broken pieces.
It was probably two minutes but felt like ten before Themba broke the quiet. “Have you ever seen a painted dog?” he asked, glancing at Sienna out of the corner of his eye. Themba had deep, dark eyes that felt like they swallowed you whole.
She wanted to ask if watching David Attenborough’s documentaries counted. At least she knew painted dogs were also called African wild dogs or painted wolves. She shook her head. “Not in real life.”
Themba nodded slowly. “They usually move in packs,” he said. “Each pack has an alpha pair that determines the pack’s movements.” He was still looking out at the river. One of the hippos made its way to the riverbed. Sienna probably imagined it, but she swore she could hear the leathery snap of its skin as it moved onto dry land. “They do everything together: hunting, resting, caring for pups.”
“Sounds like they’ve got partnership all figured out,” Sienna said, a little confused as to what the point was. If there even was a point. Or if Themba, who spent his days recounting stories or conjuring up tales to interested tourists, wasn’t able to switch off.
“They do,” Themba said. “Anyway. One day, while I was out on a game drive, we came upon a wild dog standing apart from the rest. The pack had already crossed the plain, but this one stayed behind. Not because it was weak or hurt, but because it wanted something that the others decided wasn’t worth their time. A baboon up in the tree.”
Sienna imagined the wild dog with its mottled coat, crouched low in the grass, staring up at a tree. She could even picture a baboon sitting on a branch, completely unbothered while it chewed on a jackalberry tree.
“Eventually, the dog had to make a choice. Keep following the pack or do what it wanted and risk everything. It didn’t get to have both,” Themba said.
Sienna frowned. As simple as it sounded, it didn’t make sense. “Why couldn’t it have both?” she asked. “Kill the baboon and go back to the pack. Surely they’ll appreciate him even more now. He took initiative. More meat to go around.”
Themba smiled. “That’s not how it works.”
“Why not?” Sienna asked.
This time, Themba didn’t reply. He watched the river for a moment instead. “You don’t always have to go where the pack is going,” he said at last. “Sometimes, when you know what you want, you step out of line and follow that, even if everyone else keeps moving.” He pushed himself away from the railing, balancing back on his heels for a second before he glanced back in the direction of the lodge.
Sienna couldn’t see the lights, but she knew they were there. So too were Vivian, the eight remaining contestants, Elise, and all the camera crew. A lot of people were probably wondering where the hell she had disappeared to.
