Marc wasn’t surprised. While Kash could be a huge goofball, Marc had always seen a darkness in Kash. If Marc told Kash what he had learned, Kash would kill Ry. Marc wanted that pleasure.
In unison, Valon and Ledger set the two-person outdoor swing in motion. Leaned back, enjoying the perfect weather, everything felt calmer than he could recall in a long time. Before Kash had married his dad, he had forced Valon to lean on his dad even though he had no idea what was going on with Valon. Valon was grateful for that now. Ledger had always been the best dad. Valon knew if Ledger had known Ry had harmed him in any way, he probably would have killed the guy. That was the thing, though. Valon hadn’t wanted to lose his dad to prison. Powering through seemed to be the best choice. Too many things to name had left him bitter. Bitterness had moved to loneliness. He wanted to let it go. Ry wouldn’t let him. But Valon wasn’t dumb. He knew nothing had ever stood between him and safety except himself. Still, he didn’t know if it mattered any longer. The past was the past.
“If I ask you a question, will you answer me honestly?”
Valon was so in his head, the question caught him off guard. A nervous chuckle escaped him. “I can try.”
Ledger didn’t look his way. He gave a sharp nod. “Are you an addict?”
The question surprised a bark of laughter from Valon. “No, Dad. I’m not an addict.”
“Did Ry ever touch you inappropriately?”
Valon had still been laughing when the question hit, sounding like Ledger ripped off a bandage. If he hadn’t been so caughtoff guard, Valon might have answered differently. “No. He just tortured me and beat the shit out of me every time you weren’t watching.” Even Valon was surprised by his response.
Ledger’s eyes closed as if his worst fears had been recognized. His throat worked as he swallowed before looking Valon’s way. The pain in his eyes made Valon want to run. This was why he hadn’t said anything.
Valon scrambled to make the hurt disappear. He couldn’t take it. Valon kept his voice light and playful. “It’s cool, Dad. Forget I said anything. I’m an adult. It’s in the past. It’s my fault, really. I could’ve said something back then.”
“Don’t do that.”
Valon’s lungs tried to seize at Ledger’s words.
Ledger didn’t stop there. “You’re not okay. I can see how hard you’re trying, but I can also see the desperation in your eyes each time you’re here. You can’t wait to get away.”
It seemed there was no avoiding this. “Please stop. I love you. You’re my dad.”
“And I failed you.” Ledger’s voice cracked as he said the words.
Valon’s eyes burned. He couldn’t do this. It hurt too much. “I should go.”
Ledger looked defeated. There were tears in his eyes. “Damn, Valon. Don’t run away again. My heart breaks every time you can’t get away from me fast enough. Did Kash know?”
It seemed that as long as Ledger kept asking questions, he would answer. “No one knew. I’m a pretty good actor when I try. You were happy. I couldn’t be the reason you two got divorced. Plus, what if you hadn’t believed me? Ry was damn good at making you think everyone else was the liars or you were being paranoid.” The more Valon spoke, the more he realized how true every word was. His hands lifted and fell to his lap. “I love you. You’re an amazing dad. Always have been. I’m the one who was too paralyzed with fear to say anything. There’s nothing you could’ve done differently to change that. I know that. Even if you had left him, I never would’ve found the strength to tell you.” He knew that because he hadn’t before now. Before Marc forced his way in, and shored up his backbone. In the fervor of his speech, Valon had sat forward and turned toward Ledger. Fresh, free air filled his lungs. Valon sat back and scooted closer, snuggling beneath his dad’s arm. That was where he had always felt safest. “For my own sanity, I need to leave the past behind.”
Ledger sniffed like he still fought tears, but he kissed Valon’s temple. “We should start a family game night once a month. You bring Marc, and we can take turns deciding what we play.”
Despite everything, a genuine smile exploded across Valon’s face. “I love that you’re including Marc in our family.”
They set the swing back in motion. “That’s because he is. I can see how much he cares about you. He seems like he’s a genuine friend. Your smile is real when he’s around.”
The claim danced inside his brain. Memories flowed freely. Marc did everything for him… he was everything to him. “Yeah. He’s a good person.” Valon didn’t know how else to respond. He couldn’t admit his true feelings. Every day, Marc got a little deeper into his heart. Valon wanted more than his friendship. Marc didn’t see him in that way. He was the one thing Valon couldn’t buy. A hint of the devil spurred him. He couldn’t buy Marc, but he could damn sure spoil him. A wicked laugh rose in his chest. Valon swallowed it. He could already feel Marc’s passive resistance. Valon couldn’t wait to get started.
Chapter Five
Marcdraggedhisfeetthrough their third store of things he couldn’t afford while Valon chatted and smiled. That was what kept him going. Valon looked genuinely happy today. He seemed different. Lighter. Marc couldn’t wait for Valon to realize Ry didn’t call anymore. He knew at some point there would be some blowback on that one. It was only a matter of time before Ry popped up like a bad penny. Marc would have to do something to keep that from happening. Unfortunately, it would take time. He didn’t know how long Ry would give him. Marc needed to find out how often Ry demanded money and whatnot. But Valon was actually happy, and Marc couldn’t ruin the smiles.
“Okay. This is perfect.” Valon held up an expensive T-shirt that tried to look cheap, and a leather jacket made to look worn. “This is you. I wonder if this jacket would fit your broad shoulders. I might need to get one custom-made. Honestly, that’s probably what I should do anyway. Custom-made clothes always fit best.”
“Oh god. Please don’t. That’s so much money. I don’t need any of this.”
“Hush.” Valon didn’t look his way as he combed through the jeans. “This brings me joy.”
Marc couldn’t stop arguing. “I never want you to think I want your money.” Even Marc heard the power behind his statement. Even if Valon didn’t have a penny, Marc still couldn’t stay away. It was Valon he wanted.
Valon stopped and met his stare. “I’ve been in this game long enough to know how to spot the money grabbers and clout chasers. You’re neither of those things.” He went back to sorting through clothes. “In fact, today, Dad said you were family. He’s right. You are.”
Marc’s throat swelled tight and fast. He couldn’t respond.
