Valon chuckled. “Not me. The closest thing to rebelling was bringing Kash home. He was definitely from the other side of the tracks. I expected Dad to take one look at him and refuse to let me see him again. Instead, Dad was Dad. He pulled Kash aside and peppered him with questions. From that moment on, Kash was part of the family.”
“Even with Ry?”
Valon snorted. “Maybe especially with Ry. He wanted to fuck him. Really, though, that’s nearly everyone’s first reaction to Kash.”
Marc pulled a face. “That wasnotmy first reaction to meeting Kash.”
“What was, then?”
Marc shook his head. “I thought, ‘This guy looks like he’s killed a few people.’”
Valon shrugged. “He probably has.”
Marc had been leaning back in the lounge chair next to Valon. He turned sideways and sat forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. Marc looked fully invested. “Are you really okay with your dad being married to Kash? No weird feelings at all?”
Valon turned sideways to face him. Their knees brushed. He spent a moment musing over Marc’s question before responding. “In a way, Kash has always been a second dad to me. Even as a teen, Kash was incredibly steady. He always guided me in the right direction, pushing me to be better.” Valon paused and waved his hand wildly. “Don’t get me wrong. I was in lust for sure. But I don’t know. One day, I saw Dad and Kash exchange a look of exasperation over something I’d done, and I thought, ‘Yeah. That tracks.’ I was too immature for Kash. Kash was way too grown-up for me. He had raised himself and was more adult than he had ever been a child. Kash fits better with Dad. I can’t say that realization didn’t break my heart. That was more ego and pride. But I was already plotting my escape by then. My whole attitude changed to let them have each other.” A self-deprecating smile pulled at his lips. “Then I got older and life got a hell of lot harder. I thought this career would be all sex, drugs, and rock’n roll. Instead, it’s a stressful mess that eats your soul. I’ve done all the things with professionalism and maturity. I’ve taken my job seriously.” His hands rose and fell.
“This career has been a huge blessing to me in a lot of ways. I mean, I fucking love to sing and play guitar. How many people really make it the way I have? But there’re two sides to every coin.” Valon couldn’t look away from holding Marc’s gaze. Even in the low lighting, his eyes were arresting. “This gig has also been a nightmare I can’t escape at times. When I first fully realized I’d never have a normal life, it was a bit of a knife to myheart. I’ll never go to the store alone or do anything in peace, really. For the rest of my life, I’ll be on display. That’s a crazy thing, man. It never stops being surreal. But back to the topic, and like I’ve told everyone before, one night, everything just hit me. Dad deserved better than me. I’d shut him out and couldn’t find my way back. Then I thought about the way I caught Dad and Kash looking at each other sometimes. They had something I never had with Kash, and they fought it because they love me. I just want them to be happy. Even if that dreamy life doesn’t include me.” A wry smile crossed his lips. “Especially without me.”
Marc set his hands on Valon’s knees and lightly squeezed. He didn’t move away. It was as if he tried to physically keep Valon from running away. His voice turned serious in a way Valon rarely heard. “Did you plan to kill yourself once you had them settled?”
Valon nearly cringed at the question, but it was Marc. He didn’t know how to lie to Marc. “Not directly, no. But I knew it wouldn’t be long before the drugs I use to escape would end me. I knew the day would come when someone would find me in an unfortunate position where I went to sleep and never woke up. While I didn’t plan to rush that along, I saw the end in sight.” Valon licked his bottom lip nervously. “Except, you showed up and pulled me from the edge—mostly. That outcome doesn’t feel as inevitable any longer.”
Marc’s expression never changed. Nothing about him screamed judgmental. Instead, he just looked like he cared. They stared at each other in silence. Something grew inside Valon’s chest.
“Why are you named Valon?”
A laugh burst from Valon at the unexpected question. “It’s short for Avalon.”
A huge grin split Marc’s face. “So every time I call you Val, I’m shortening a name that’s already been shortened. Why haven’t you stopped me? I love that you’re named after a magical island. So fitting.”
Valon shrugged. “Why would I stop you? Any time you call me Val, I know you’re seeing me as more than a client.”
If it were possible for Marc to look more intense, he might have scared Valon. As it was, Valon was on the edge of his seat, waiting for Marc’s next move. He became hyperaware of Marc’s hands on his knees. Valon swore he felt them move an inch higher.
“A new property guard has arrived.”
Valon wanted to scream at another interruption.
Marc looked in the butler’s direction. “I’ll be there in a second.”
Maybe it was for the best. It was possible these constant interferences were a sign they weren’t meant to be. Maybe this was another huge mistake. He didn’t want to lose his friend.
“I have to take care of this.”
Valon nodded. The motion felt strange. He imagined it looked even odder.
Marc moved to stand, except he shot forward. Their mouths clashed. Valon automatically opened to accept a deeper kiss. He lost all sense. His hands moved to cup Marc's face, hoping he wouldn’t slip away. He was dazed as fuck when Marc’s mouth disappeared.
“If you want to act like this never happened, then I’d much rather you do that than ever stop being my friend. You mean too much to me to lose you. That would kill me, but I had to know.”
“Know what?” Valon sounded every bit as disoriented as he felt.
“If you’d shove me away.”
Marc fully straightened and walked away.
Valon stared at nothing while lost in everything. Their kiss had been everything he needed and more. Now, he didn’t know what to do.
