Maso has begun to light sparklers and is waving one in circles around his head. I want to tell him his curly nest of hair is going to catch on fire, but Nina reaches out and smacks the back of his head before I get the chance. He lowers the sparkler and lights another for Ava, handing it over with a shit-eating grin. Ava takes it from him and rolls her eyes when he purposely lets his finger glide over hers.
“I’ve never seen her this happy,” Tammy tells me.
I watch Ava spell her name with the sparkler in the air and I snap a few shots of the trail of light she creates with her wide-eyed, dazzling face behind it.
“My brother is a moron,” Tammy adds and that grabs my attention away from the shot.
“Your brother?”
She tilts her head to one side.
“Yeah, my twin brother. Her boyfriend—well, ex-boyfriend,” she clarifies.
Senator Douche is Tammy’s twin? Che cazzo?
“I didn’t realize—” I didn’t realize what? That I know nothing about Ava? That there’s no way she’ll ever escape her ex if her best friend is his twin?
“Please don’t hold it against me,” Tammy says, her smile fading slightly at the corners. “Like I said. He’s a moron. And I’m happy Ava is …”
Her voice trails off and she holds out her hand gesturing to all of me.
“Is?” I ask.
“Is happy. Is free. Is doing whatshewants for once instead of following one of her carefully laid out plans.” She lets out a breath. “Whatever the hell you two are doing—it’s good for her.”
I look back to the sky just as the finale starts, the rapid succession of explosions rattling inside my ears as the sky turns gold.
Whatever the hell you two are doing.
Is it good for her? Because it feels good to me. Even with the fear nagging and pulling at the edges of my thoughts, all of that goes away when I’m with her. I want everything I can get—as much of her as she’ll give.
Silence stretches across the hilltop as the last flickers of light fly across the sky. I lift the camera one last time and twist the focus until the details of Ava’s mouth are clear enough to me that I can taste our kiss from today. She senses me, turns her gaze back over her shoulder, and gives me the softest smile. The trails of gold slide slowly down behind her, but the angle makes it look like they are falling in her hair and on her shoulders—like she’s being dusted in gold.
I lower the camera and smile back at Ava with a rush of satisfaction, knowing deep down that I just took the most beautiful photograph of my life.
TRENTASEI
Ava
Why have I not sat by this pool every day for the last three weeks?
Obviously, there are some extra bonus points today since Tammy is floating like an otter at the far end of the pool spilling details of her mother’s campaign and ensuring she doesn’t bring up Ethan throughout her chatter. She’s slipped twice—both times I waited for some sort of chest pain or brain zap that never came. His name no longer makes my lungs collapse. And as much as that’s a relief, it also scares the shit out of me.
I’ve spent a huge chunk of my life with him. Holidays, events, milestones—all of it has piled up between us to make the foundations of a life together. So how is it possible that the thought of leaving it in the past doesn’t tear me in two?
I turn and find the answer. James is in full recline, reading a novel.
Shirtless.
So many bonus points to him. Ten for the lines that crisscross his abs. One hundred for the shadow beneath his pecs. And a million for reading Elena Ferrante—in her original language. He’s broken the scoreboard.
I’ve been working very hard not to turn and gaze at him so that my face doesn’t get quasi-sunned and look like a half-moon cookie. But I’m failing. I really should just swivel my chair toward him and settle into the view.
He looks over the top of his book at me and lifts a brow.
“Can I help you?”
Nina and Tammy are in a deep conversation about the different government parties in Italy, so I stand and drag my chaise across the stones, making an awful shriek as I go. Verga stands from the shade I’d been providing him and makes his way to the shadow beside James.
