No, the loudest voice in my head demands to know why she can’t own up to her part in it. It demands answers, to finally have her face the reality of our lives.
It wants to remind her what I gave up, how signing my life away to work for Myron got us the money we needed to clear thedebts da left, and how the money I continue to earn makes sure she has a roof over her head and food in her cupboards.
I silence that voice immediately.
It wouldn’t change anything.
It never does.
Any time we even get close to unpacking everything that’s happened and the bleak reality of where we are now, she retreats. She gets angry, or sad, or tries to rewrite history.
It wasn’t as bad as it seemed at the time. Da was trying, he really was. Things will work out all right. The future isn’t as bleak as it seems.
There’s always an excuse. Always some magickal solution to all her problems that only ever happens because I step up and take care of it.
“You’ll never have to,” I tell her. “I’ve got it covered.”
“You’re too good to me, Callum.”
The words ring hollow. So does her relief, so familiar, as we sink back into the same old tired roles.
She offers me some tea. I take it. We sit and sip awkwardly, trade some stilted conversation about my recent jobs and the part-time work she’s been trying to do with the seamstress down the street.
Eventually the tea is gone and the conversation dries up.
With nothing else to say and no desire to stay here and relive the past, I give her a brief parting kiss on the cheek and head for the door.
The sun’s fully up now, cresting the horizon and bathing the city in golden light.
The bright new day does nothing to lift my mood.
Even the thought of my mate—warm in my bed, sleep-rumpled and gorgeous—isn’t enough to cheer me. In fact, it does the opposite.
How am I supposed to be enough for her?
How am I going to create a life worthy of her when I’m barely scraping by on my own, when I have the weight of my past hanging immovable around my neck, dragging me down?
I’ve got no answers, no ideas.
Nothing but the slimmest chance.
A fae queen’s bounty that could erase my biggest mistake.
A fae queen’s bounty Seren wants to win as well.
A fae queen’s bounty only one of us can claim.
19
Seren
I’m alone in Callum’s apartment when I wake up.
Last night almost seems like a dream.
A fever dream, maybe, like I’m still back in Faerie under the influence of those mushrooms.
After a few seconds, though, it all comes rushing back.
