“Yeah,” I answered, trying to keep the tremble out of my voice. “Couldn’t sleep.”
A beat of silence stretched between us, broken only by a sharp, disbelieving laugh from my husband as he stood.
“That’s funny,” he said, walking toward me. “Because I couldn’t either.”
“Wes—”
“I thought the other night was odd,” he cut in. “I fell asleep so soon after drinking the hot chocolate. It was so… unnatural. But, I let it go,” he continued. “Figured maybe I was overthinking it. Then tonight…” His jaw tightened slightly. “I still thought I was being paranoid, but decided to pretend to drink what you brought me, then pretend to fall asleep. Just to see what you’d do.”
I didn’t answer, unsure what I could possibly say to fix this. Instead, I just trembled by the door, my feet frozen in place.
“Imagine my surprise when you got up and fucking left,” he growled, making my breath catch in my throat.
The room felt smaller.
Warmer in a way that had nothing to do with the fire.
I breathed in shakily, my gaze flicking away for just a second before returning to him. “Wes, I—”
“Don’t,” he said sharply, running a hand over his face, exhaling through his nose like he was reining something in. “You drugged me… to do what?”
Something dark flickered behind his eyes, and his jaw clenched.
“I-I’m sorry…” I whispered nervously, shifting my weight from foot to foot. I was pretty sure guilt was radiating out from my pores.
“Jesus, Ro,” he breathed, turning away for half a second before dragging a hand through his hair. “I told you,” he said, each word measured as he turned to face me again. “No killing. Not here. Not on this trip.”
“I know…”
“Youknow,” he repeated, incredulous in a quiet way. “And you drugged me anyway? Snuck out? Not even just once, but twice? Goddammit, Ronan.”
“I needed it,” I whispered.
The words hung between us.
Honest.
His shoulders squared, something settling into place. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “I can see that. And since you decided to go behind my back instead of coming to me, that tells me I haven’t been doing my job properly.”
My breath hitched—barely there, but enough. “No, you—” His hand came up and caught my jaw, and I lost my words.
“You don’t get to make these calls alone,” he said. “Not when it affects both of us. Not when it puts you at risk.” His grip tightened to the point of pain.
“I know,” I whispered, voice thin. “I just—”
“You just decided you knew better.”
I swallowed.
Because… yeah.
I had.
“I didn’t want to ruin your trip…”
For a moment, he just looked at me. Really looked. Not at the surface—at the layers under it. The ones I didn’t show anyone else.
“Doll, you needing help regulating isn’t something that could ruin anything. I came into this relationship knowing that was something you’d need from me. But I can’t help if you don’t let me,” he urged.
