I blinked at him, trying to process that.
“Oh,” I whispered. It felt like the only word I could manage.
“You seemed overwhelmed,” he went on, still keeping his tone gentle. “I thought making it a little calmer in here might help.”
Help.
That didn’t make sense.
“You shouldn’t…” I swallowed hard, my throat raw. “You shouldn’t help me.”
His brows pulled slightly together. “Why not?”
“Because—” The rest caught in my chest. I shook my head, suddenly nauseous.
Patel didn’t push. He just watched me with that unreadable expression, the one that made it feel like he was piecing something together in his mind. The room felt too small again. Too close. Too full of someone else’s gaze.
I looked away, down at my lap, at my hands twisted in the blanket.
“Elior,” Patel said softly, “you’re not in trouble. You’re safe here. No one is angry with you.”
My breath hitched.
He didn’tunderstand.
Hecouldn’tunderstand.
I felt like the space behind my ribs was packed with something heavy—stones, dirt, something horribly suffocating.
“But Father said…” The words escaped before I could stop them. “He said—I betrayed him—that I let the enemy inside. That I… I let this happen. This is all my fault. I don’t deserve any help.”
Patel inhaled deeply, like he was trying to ground himself. “I’m very sorry he said those things to you, but you didn’t betray anyone, Elior.”
“You don’t know that,” I whispered, voice cracking. “I don’t even know what I did. Everything happened so fast, and he was so angry, and he said Jace—” I cut myself off, my vision swimming. The fog in my mind thickened, warm and slow and slippery, making it hard to sort anything into shapes that made sense.
Patel leaned forward. “Elior,” he said, “None of what happened was your fault.”
My eyes filled with tears again.
I hated that. I hated crying in front of strangers.
“Where is he?” I whispered again, voice trembling. “Jace?”
Patel’s jaw tightened, a subtle but unmistakable reaction. “He’s being debriefed by our superiors. It’s just part of the process.”
“Debriefed,” I repeated, trying to wrap my sluggish mind around the word. It felt too big, too official, too far away from the world I understood. “What—what does that mean?”
“It just means he’s talking to some people about what happened,” he answered. “I’m sure he’ll come see you when he can,” he added carefully, “but until then, I’ll be here to answer your questions. Deal?”
I let out a shaky breath, hands still trembling in my lap.
“Okay,” I whispered, even though nothing felt okay.
At least the lights didn’t hurt anymore.
“Do you understand what happened, Elior?” he asked.
I shook my head.
