“When can I get him out of here?” I asked as I stood in the hall, watching him through the window, refusing to take my eyes off him. I’d only been able to talk to him for maybe ten minutes before Patel and a security officer had forced me out of the room. Arguing in the hallway, I had watched as a nurse had gone in after me to administer another dose of whatever psych med they’d been giving Elior.
Patel stood beside me. “Who says you’ll be taking him anywhere?”
I tore my eyes from the window and looked at Patel.
“What do you mean, who says?” I demanded. “He doesn’t have anyone else, and he’s not in custody, as far as I’m aware.”
Patel crossed his arms, posture rigid in that infuriatinglycalm way of his. “You know what I mean. I’m not the only one who sees how fucked up this is.” He gestured between Elior and me.
I let out a humorless laugh. “Really?”
Patel frowned. “Do you really not see how this could be seen as a coercive relationship?”
I stepped closer, voice dropping. “I don’t see how it’s any of your business, so why don’t you back off?”
“Or what?” Patel asked quietly. “You’ll hit me? Yell? That won’t change the facts, Agbayani.”
I scrubbed a hand over my face, nails biting into my scalp. “What facts,Patel?” I hissed out his name.
He didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he glanced in the room again, at Elior lying curled on his side, IV in his arm. “The ethics committee is involved. Internal Affairs is involved. Behavioral is involved. People noticed him calling you Daddy at the raid.” My teeth clenched. “It’s obvious to all of us that he’s grown dependent on you, even if he’s currently trying to ignore you.” He looked at me pointedly, a flair of disgust in his gaze. “You know what you did.”
I turned away, pacing a few steps down the hall before spinning back. “So what, you’re going to stick him with some stranger? A social worker he’s terrified of?” My voice cracked despite my effort to keep it steady. “If he really is dependent on me, what’s taking me away from him going to do?”
“I know,” Patel said. “Which is why no one’s made a decision yet.”
“That’s not reassuring.”
“It’s not supposed to be.”
I stopped pacing, hands clenched at my sides. “Am I being pulled from the case?”
Patel hesitated just long enough to answer the question without words.
“Fuck,” I muttered. “Should’ve known from how the debrief went. Fuck. Just because the kid likes me?
Patel looked at me like I was crazy. “You told him that he’s yours and you’re never leaving him—literally right in front of me. You called him ‘baby’, for God’s sake. You said you love him. You’re fucking high if you don’t see how that breaks conduct.” He sighed, rubbing at his brow like he was fighting a migraine. “They’re debating whether you should be allowed any contact with him at all—at least until he’s stabilized. Some—no,a lot—of people think you’re too close to the situation.”
I stared at him for a long second. “Too close,” I repeated flatly. “Because?”
Patel held my gaze, unimpressed. “Because you keep treating him like he belongs to you.”
Because he does,I wanted to roar.
I forced a breath through my nose, counted it out the way, and calmed my expression. “He’s nineteen,” I said evenly. “He was raised in an isolated, abusive religious compound. He was physically assaulted by his dad twice while I was undercover. I comforted him, so, of course, he latched on to the first consistent source of safety he’s ever known. That doesn’t make me a predator—it makes me a stabilizing factor.”
Patel’s eyes narrowed. “I never called you a predator.”
I almost smiled. “You were thinking it.”
“To be honest with you, everyone is thinking it.”
I shrugged. “If they want information from him, they’re going to need me. Predator or not.”
“You’re so fucking full of yourself.”
“Listen to me,” I went on, quieter, steadier. “He doesn’t understand jail. Or the FBI. Or investigations. He understands safety and punishment. That’s it. If you take me away from him, he will interpret that as punishment—as abandonment.” I let just enough edge into my voice to sound earnest. “You’ll break him. I’m sure psych will agree with me.”
Patel searched my face, like he was looking for a lie. He wouldn’t find one.
