“Don’t what?”
“Don’t act like you care. Don’t pretend like my well-being matters to you.”
“It does matter.” He takes a half-step forward but stops when I tense up. “Anne, I know you won’t believe me, and you have every right not to, but you matter to me. You always have.”
“Stop lying.”
“I’m not—”
“Everything you’ve said to me has been a lie! Every word, every touch, every moment. All of it was manipulation to get to Violet. So, don’t stand there and tell me I matter to you when we both know that’s just another lie.”
“It’s not.” He hangs his head before continuing. “The accident was a lie. The amnesia was a lie. But what I felt for you, what I still feel for you, that was never a lie.”
The knife almost drops from my hand. “What did you just say?”
Did I hear him right? My heart starts to pound, and I get a bitter taste of betrayal on my tongue unlike what I felt before. I think I might faint again.
He looks back up at me, taking a breath. “That wasn’t how I planned to tell you,” he says before pressing his lips together. “I’m sorry, Anne. I remember everything. I always did. I lied about the amnesia to protect my cover.”
The room starts to spin. I grab the counter with my free hand to steady myself. “Y—you remember?”
“Everything. Every moment of our youth. Every promise we made. Every plan for our future.” His eyes meet mine, and the pain in them appears genuine. “I remembered you every single day for ten years.”
“Then why—”
“Because I thought you’d forgotten me. I thought the pack had abandoned me. I thought—” He stops, shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter what I thought. Those were all lies. But I believed them.”
I can’t process this. Can’t hold all of this information in my head at once without going completely mad.
The whole time he was in prison, I thought that he truly couldn’t remember me but had chosen to exploit my obvious feelings for him in order to deceive me. I thought he had lied about the mate bond reactivating just to be able to use me to get to Violet. I never expected that the mate bond had never been dead to begin with.
He hurt me despite our past and despite the bond.
“Get out of my sight.” The words come out sounding cold, lifeless. “I don’t want to look at you right now.”
He flinches like I’ve slapped him in the face, but he nods. “Okay. I’ll—I’ll be out here if you need anything.”
I wait until he’s in the living room, until I hear the couch creak under his weight, before I lock myself in my bedroom.
The knife comes with me.
I set it on the nightstand, within reach, and crawl into bed still fully clothed. The pillowcase smells stale. Everything in here feels dead.
Including me.
Sleep doesn’t come for hours. When it finally does, it brings nightmares.
I’m back in the HQ parking lot, but this time, when Kain kisses me, his hands are around my throat. Squeezing. I can’t breathe, can’t scream, can’t—
I wake up shrieking. The sound tears out of my throat, raw and terrified, and I thrash in my sheets trying to escape phantom hands until—
“Anne! Anne, it’s okay. You’re okay.”
Strong arms wrap around me, pulling me against a solid chest. A familiar scent surrounds me, pine and earth and…Kain.
“No, no, get away—” I struggle, still half caught in the nightmare.
“Shh, it’s okay. You’re safe. I’ve got you.” His hand strokes my hair, his voice soft and soothing. “You’re safe, Anne. I promise. Nothing is going to hurt you.”
