She gets in an elevator. I hang back, watching the numbers light up as she ascends. She goes all the way to the top floor, where the indicator stops and stays.
I take the next elevator with my pulse hammering in my throat.
The top floor is quiet when I reach it. I scan the space quickly and catch movement through the glass doors that lead to the rooftop.
Images of mangled bodies after they jumped from the organization’s facility flood my mind. What if…
I sprint to the doors and out onto the rooftop. I only stop when Anne comes back into view. Her back is to me as she stands by the railing, leaning on it slightly. Then, she dips her hand into her bag and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.
Relief floods my veins, and I let out a huge breath. Of course Anne wouldn’t do anything stupid.
Still, my pulse picks up again because now she’s placing a cigarette between her lips. Without hesitation, I stride over to her, reach out, and pluck the cigarette from her mouth right as she’s about to light it.
She jerks back, eyes going wide with shock before narrowing quickly. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“I should ask you that,” I say as I crush the cigarette between my fingers and let it fall to the ground. “You should know smoking is bad for your health.”
Her jaw drops open. “Are you serious right now? What the hell.”
She tuts and pulls another cigarette from the pack, but I snatch it before she can bring it to her lips. She tries again, and this time I take the whole pack and toss it off the roof.
“What the hell is the matter with you?!”
“I can’t let you do that. It’s bad for you,” I tell her, my voice rough.
“Mind your own fucking business, Kain.”
But you are my business! I’m half a second from saying the words out loud before I stop myself. The sound of my name on her lips, blurted out with such sharp fury, hits hard. I swallow.
“It’s because of me, isn’t it?” I say.
She blinks. “What?”
“Smoking. You’re doing it because I can’t remember you. I can’t pretend not to notice and let you resort to destroying yourself because of me.”
She scoffs and rolls her eyes with what I can only imagine is disbelief quickly mixing with hot rage. Her palm pushes against my chest, and only then do I realize how close to her I’m standing.
“Are you pitying me?”
“That’s not what I—”
“No, you know what?” She steps closer, one finger jabbing toward my chest but not quite touching. “I don’t need your pity. You don’t get to come here and tell me how to live my life. This has nothing to do with you.”
“It has everything to do with me.” My tone comes out sharper than I expect. “It’s my fault you’re doing this, and I—”
“Stop!” She cuts me off, breathing hard. “You don’t even know who I am!”
The words may as well be physical blows with how hard they land. My jaw locks up, every muscle in my body going rigid with the effort of not grabbing her right here and telling her the truth.
“You’re right. I don’t know who you are,” I finally say. “But I know a person spiraling when I see one, and you’re spiraling.”
A fierceness appears in her eyes. “So? You said it yourself: the person you were, the person I knew, is gone. I don’t know you, and you don’t know me.”
She bends down and picks up the uncrumpled cigarette from the ground. She puts it between her lips, and this time, I don’t move. She lights it.
“You can save your pity. I don’t need it. Just leave me the fuck alone, Kain,” she says as she blows smoke into the air.
I don’t reply. She takes two more puffs before crushing the butt under her heel. Then, she moves past me and walks away, shoulders straight, head high, leaving me standing alone on the rooftop with stamped cigarettes at my feet and guilt burning a hole through my chest.
