In my cubicle, from the moment I sit down, all I can do is keep glancing at the clock while my fingers hover uselessly over the mouse. The sandwich bags sit untouched beside the keyboard, the paper crinkling faintly every time I brush against one of them.
It doesn’t take long before the restlessness wins. I push back from my desk, pick up the bags, and take the elevator up to Kain’s office before I can change my mind again.
My hand is surprisingly steady when I knock on his door.
“Come in.”
Kain stands at the window, arms crossed, looking out at the parking lot. He turns when he hears me enter, and for a few seconds, we just stand there, staring at each other. His scent fills my nostrils, and I bite my lip to control my nerves. My wolf whimpers at being so close to him yet denied access. Does he feel this, too?
“Ms. Donaldson?” Kain’s questioning tone brings me back to the present.
Swallowing, I lift the paper bags. “I brought food. I thought maybe we could talk for five minutes. That’s all I’m asking.”
His eyes linger on me for a long moment, then he nods slightly.
I close the door behind me and set the bags on the edge of his desk.
“I wanted to apologize,” I start. “For yesterday. For coming at you like that. I’m sure it must have been difficult having a stranger act so familiarly. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
He exhales through his nose. “It’s alright.”
I peek into both bags and slide the one with the roast beef sandwich toward him. “It’s your—It was your favorite. You probably don’t remember, but I just…thought I could bring a peace offering.”
He looks at the sandwich, then at me, and I catch an unreadable flicker in his eyes for only a split second before it’s gone.
“Thank you,” he says stiffly.
I press my lips together. He used to be so excited to eat one of these. Now, he stares at the sandwich with disinterest. Is my Kain really no longer in there?
“Is there anything else, Ms. Donaldson?” he asks.
I take a deep breath. “I wanted to ask you something,” I say.
He pauses, his eyes becoming narrow and guarded.
I force myself to look into those eyes. “Before you…went away, you and I found out we were fated mates.” I exhale as the words leave my lips. His eyes stay on me, his lips slightly parted. I continue. “I felt the bond again yesterday. The second you walked into that conference room, my wolf recognized you.I know you said your memories are gone, but…Do you feel anything? Toward me? Even a little?”
Silence stretches between us, and I’m afraid he won’t answer, but he eventually speaks, his voice low and even. “Fated mates,” he says. “I…I’m sorry to hear that.”
My heart slams in my chest. What does he mean?
“Ms. Donaldson, the accident didn’t only take my memories, it subdued part of my wolf. I don’t feel anything toward you.” He pauses, his expression unruffled. “I’m sorry.”
The words land like stones in still water, sending ripples of pain through my entire chest as the last of my hope is cruelly snuffed. My eyes sting with tears, but I blink away the one threatening to fall.
“You don’t feel anything at all.” It’s not a question, but his answer is final.
“No. Nothing.”
I manage a nod as my fingers fist in the fabric of my skirt.
Kain’s voice takes on an almost sympathetic quality. “I understand this is difficult for you. I know fated mates are important. But the man you’re looking for, the one who felt that bond…he’s gone. I’m not him. And I can’t be who you want me to be.”
He pities me. The thought makes me steel myself, determined not to look like a desperate fool any longer.
“Thank you,” I say, the words tasting like ash. “For your honesty.”
He nods.
