But he wasn’t the only god here.
I was a different breed entirely.
They all knew it.
So many feared it.
But they hadn’t yet experienced it from me.
And when they did, things would never be the same.
Because, yes, with what Ruxnoth’s designs for me and Sanctus had brought about, there was no choice now—I had to make them experience me that way.
To spare everyone I loved.
They just wouldn’t like it.
That wasn’t yet, though. And they couldn’t be made aware of it.
Just like Ruxnoth couldn’t.
He believed he had me leashed.
And unfortunately, he did actually have a part of me bound.
Something he was clearly about to demonstrate now, and deepen.
I just needed to find a way to break that. I just needed a little more time.
And that was why I was allowing this now.
Through my training with Dad, which had been going on for several weeks now, it had opened up so much to me, given me so much. Especially stability in things I’d previously considered too high-level to ever allow myself to perform or partake in. And along those lines, it meant I was now confident that I had the means and the control to be able to blast my way out this dreamscape.
But I needed Ruxnoth to touch me. I needed him to infuse me with that warmth.
Just not to only… revel in it now.
I had deeper plans where that was concerned.
“Shh,” he soothed, as he crouched down right in front of me, still not sinking into the water at all. “There is no shame in it. You merely wish to feel alive. Only a monster would deny you that.”
He cupped my cheek and it was so deeply overwhelming that it had my eyes fluttering closed for a moment, compromising my concentration.
“No,” I gasped.
“All is well. Allow it to soothe you.”
That special heat began emanating from his palm.
And then he slapped his other hand to my bare chest, another wave of it pushing into me, heating my very being, feeling like it was animating death incarnate.
I threw my head back and choked out a cry at the sharp intensity that escalated the longer he maintained contact. “Fuck… oh fuck.”
“Yes, there it is. You’re being very good for me.”
I wasn’t ready… I’d thought I was. I’d thought I could do this now.
For them.
