He shook me in his hold. “I. Said. Beg.”
“Please… please, don’t.”
“Continue.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just… afraid. I… told… you. That’s all… true.”
“But the root of it is not.”
“No. It’s… the leaving… them.”
He loosened his grip and I sucked in much-needed air. “There it is.”
He stroked my jaw, then, his eyes softening—well, at least that was what he was projecting. I’d gotten good at reading beneath the surface with him. Pulling me into these dreamscapes partially involved melding our subconscious states, so there was a vulnerability from him as well for me to access.
“I understand you believe you’ll be left wanting by taking your leave from your family and those you think you are in love with. But those attachments will fade, the ache will dissolve. I’ve already promised you will be cherished and fulfilled inSanctus. I will replicate that familial attachment for you, and there are many of my necromancers who deeply desire to meet you. You will find physical satiation in them. Others like you who can meld much more appropriately with your power set and understand your needs compared to a Dragon Heir, an Ifrit, and a Basilisk Lord.”
“No, that’s not—”
“You must always hold yourself back with them.”
“You don’t know that. The four of us fit together and—”
“I’ve felt you curb your power abruptly whenever their energy signatures are near you.”
I hated his words. I hated every fucking syllable.
But he kept pushing, telling me, “With us, you will be able to unleash all that you are.” He shook his head at me as he registered my disgruntled reaction. “For one so adept at seeing through illusionary magic, you are astonishingly inept at recognizing the falsity you’ve constructed around yourself. This reality you immerse yourself in is not real. As such, it cannot be sustained.” He finally released my throat. But he didn’t step back, nor give me any space between us. “I told you, did I not? Upon our first encounter, I conveyed that you did not belong on the mortal plane. Not only that, but that you are not accepted, nor would you ever be. The slightest perceived infraction, one single step across an arbitrary line that the world has drawn where you’re concerned, and they will descend upon you.”
“No. You can’t know that for sure.”
“Of course I can, youngling. You and I are the same. Too special for their understanding, for their pathetic ideals, for their limited tolerance, for their benightedness and frailties. The world will always fear what is different and they will always then seek to punish it.”
I jerked back from his grip.
Or, he let me. I wasn’t sure. The pang in my chest that he’d put there, that he’d torn into me with his venomous words and observations made it hard to register much else.
Because I couldn’t completely cast it out.
The world was scared of me.
I’d even seen it when Ryker had arrived during my invocation of Risen Reckoning, my struggle for control, before I’d managed to handle it. And my dad… how he’d reacted in response to protect me… was there even a line for him? For Mom, Father, or Pops either? For Grandpa? For my loves? For anyone who touched my life so deeply?
Was loving me nothing but hurt and strain? Would it only ever end one way for them all in the end?
Ruxnoth fisted his hand in my T-shirt, jerking me to him as he loomed over me, eyes darkening in that dangerous way as he invaded my space and sucked the fucking air from my lungs in the process as the intensity of it rolled over me. “You clearly require a demonstration to finally end this stalling of yours.”
“What?” I croaked.
“I have been incredibly patient.” He twisted his hand in my T-shirt. “You are a god, yet you insist on continuing to behave like a pawn for them all. I have guided you, I have been gentle. And yet now you repay me with defiance. I wanted you to come to me of your own volition, for us to aid each other, to provide each other with what we truly deserve, and that which has been continually denied us. However, you are forcing me to employ harsher methods now. You require a push. It’s time for you to see unequivocally that you have no choice.” He growled and grabbed my jaw as he leaned in close. “Your only true place can be with me. You will see now.”
“See? What does that mean?”
“It means, miraculous boy, the decision will now be out of your hands.”
“No. You said you wouldn’t… you said it would be my choice.”
His eyes flashed. “This is what you’ve wrought.”
