I’d kept a lot of knowledge locked up tight, basically sealed away. He wanted my Necromancy, so that was what he’d been focused on. It was what everyone was focused on. But I’d stored that knowledge away using my frost through a trick Mom had taught me when she’d schooled me in every single aspect of my Wraith side.
I’d stored it away, higher-level information I’d been taught by Father, Ketheron, Ambrose, Grandpa, even Kai Hunter, over the years, due to my fear of becoming a megalomaniac like Morien. I’d thought if I’d stripped that from myself, it would help me to keep away from ever going down that path.
But shortly after Ruxnoth’s abduction, I’d unlocked all that and let it infuse me again.
It was how I now understood a lot more about what he was doing when he provided this ‘living warmth’ to me.
It needed constant top-ups because my death nature basically killed it all too quickly. But the top-ups were actually possible constantly—despite how he was framing it to me. He could invoke them at any time because he wasn’t actually ever completely leaving my system. He was remaining, but usinghis warped version of transmutation to appear as though it was just a part of me—hiding in my veins, blood, tissue. That part was hidden from my death nature all the while he was presenting it in that way—my body couldn’t tell the difference. But as soon as he used that hold in me to generate the living warmth, my body registered it, meaning my death nature then started nullifying it—killing it, in a way.
Him keeping this sickening hold on me and all the manipulation that went along with it was all so he could leash me from afar—gauge my power set so he’d know when it reached the level he needed, be able to track me wherever I was, even to feel other magical signatures emanating around me so he could tell who I was with at any given time. It was deeply fucking creepy and disgustingly violating.
The Spiral Thorn explanation had been a partial lie from him. He already had a connection to watch me. But that instrument had opened a door on my end too, for me to reach back. It had to have another purpose beyond that, but I hadn’t determined that yet.
Despite figuring all of that out, I didn’t yet know what the living warmth truly was, what kind of spell or substance—or a combination of both—was making it possible for death to feel alive.
Obviously the notion of being able to feel this forever was no small thing to me.
But Ruxnoth doing this, every additional time he employed it, was making my baseline worse. Instead of the previous… empty numbness, it was now unbearable and painful.
He grasped my jaw and tipped my head back, forcing my gaze to his.
“I know you are overwhelmed by all of this, and that’s why you stayed away, even when you needed me. But you are doing very well, miraculous boy. You must also keep in mind thatwhen the time is right and you join me in Sanctus, you will feel this warmth eternally. You will be revered not feared. You will be protected and adored. Everything you require for your specific makeup awaits you with me.” He smiled and stroked my cheek. “There will be no more pain, no more shame, no more heartache and fear… only contentment.”
He pushed more heat into me, clearing away the last vestiges of that awful stabbing ice sensation.
It was all-consuming, and as much as I fucking hated it, he had me pushing against his hands, silently begging for more, a groan escaping me.
“That’s right. You know where you truly belong, what I can give you. I am the only being alive who can provide you with such a gift.”
My eyes rolled back in my head as he rubbed his other hand in slow circles over my abs, sending a wave of sparkling living warmth out every fucking where.
Oh, fuck… get a grip. Get control.
Focus.
Focus now.
Focus!
“I do know. It’s the only place I can belong.”
“Mmm, yes. Very good.”
“You’re the only one who understands.”
“Because I’ve been within you, with what you refer to as my ‘infection’.”
Urgh. “Exactly. You know me inside and out.”
No.
Not in the least.
“I must take my leave soon as you need to wake up shortly or you’ll miss class and invite suspicion we cannot have. We don’t want that forcing my hand, do we? Having to hurt somebody you love would be distasteful to me. I want youcontent, not distressed. Let us work together to keep it that way, yes?”
Son of a—
I sucked in a breath, managing to disguise my rage at his words as being a harsh intake of air from the heat he was still pouring into me.
