“It’s time,” he said needlessly.
“I know.” She choked back the sobs, holding her breath in an effort to stay calm.
He helped her up and she slowly pulled her dress back over her head. As always, he buttoned the back, but it seemed he did it in record time because all too soon she stood before him fully clothed, waiting to kiss him goodbye for the last time.
“Promise me you’ll be happy,” he said looking at her with bleak eyes.
She wanted to laugh, cry. How could she be happy? But she did none of those things. She nodded. “I promise.”
“Goodbye, Jenna. You’ve spread your sunshine in places that haven’t seen the light in more years than I care to think about. I’ll never forget our nights together.”
“Oh Gray,” she whispered. She threw herself into his arms holding onto him as tightly as she could. She flinched when Masterson knocked at the door and informed them the carriage was ready. She looked up into his eyes, but it was more than she could bear. Breaking from him, she ran to the door and down the stairs, great sobs overcoming her as she fled to the carriage.
She wasn’t cognizant of the ride home, her despair too great. Her head ached from the tears she shed, but her heart ached even more, felt hollow, empty.
When the carriage stopped she sat there for a moment, staring dully ahead. “My lady?” The outrider’s concerned voice sounded from the open door.
Shaking her reverie, she descended the steps and walked the remaining distance to her house feeling the weight of unhappiness burdening her shoulders.
She let herself in, closing the door with a soft click behind her. The silence of the house was deafening. The soft sounds of her feet echoed through the foyer as she walked, head down, toward the stairs. She stopped when her eyes lighted on two sets of boots on the bottom steps.
Dread clenched her chest. No, not now. Not when it didn’t matter anymore. Her eyes drifted up to the unsmiling faces of her brothers.
“What have youdone?” Sebastian demanded in a horrified voice.
Chapter Twenty-One
Jenna’s back stiffened and her chin went up. The moment she had dreaded from the beginning had come. But instead of the nauseating fear she’d imagined, anger bubbled up within her until she threatened to explode.
“I have no wish to speak to you right now,” she said through gritted teeth. “I am on my way to bed.”
“From the looks of you that is where you just came from,” Sebastian said in a dangerously low voice.
Her glance flitted over to Quinn who had remained silent. His eyes reflected hurt and worse, disappointment. “I refuse to stand here while you castigate me. If you won’t let me go up to my room, then I am going into the drawing room.”
She turned and stalked to the drawing room door, but Sebastian’s hand gripped her elbow. “I demand an explanation, Jenna. Where have you been and more importantlywhohave you been with?”
She yanked her arm from his and sat down in an armchair. “That is none of your business.”
“The hell it isn’t!”
“Jenna, you owe us, me, an explanation,” Quinn said quietly.
“I fail to see why it matters,” she said bitterly. “I am doing my duty. I’m marrying Stuart and producing the necessary heir.”
“I hardly think he will want to marry you now,” Sebastian said in disgust.
“Oh yes, he does,” she retorted. “He knows about my affair, and he doesn’t care. He still wants the marriage to go forward.”
“Affair?” Sebastian’s face grew stormy. He was angrier than she’d ever seen him before. “How does he know about your affair? And who else knows? My God, you’ve ruined this entire family.”
She saw red and flew out of her seat. “Everything I have ever done has been for this family.Everything.How dare you say that I have ruined it! No one gives a damn that I am dying on the inside. No one gives a damn that I would rather join a convent than marry Stuart. No one asked me what I wanted. I was betrothed to Stuart without anyone so much as asking me what I thought.”
She dashed away the tears that ran freely down her face and raged on. “Do you have any idea how it feels to have your entire future planned for you? No, of course you don’t. You have the luxury of a choice. Sure, you’ll be pressured to marry and provide an heir, but you’ll at least have a say in who you marry.
“And it’s perfectly all right for you to take a mistress, expected even. But I will ruin my entire family if it’s found out I indulged in an affair.”
She turned her back on them, furious at herself for crying in front of them. But months of resentment spilled from her like a knocked over pail of water. Her grief over losing Gray overwhelmed her.
