He straightened his stance and shoved his hands in his pockets. The boat dipped, and he swayed precariously as he turned to walk back to his cabin. His hands flew up to maintain his balance, and he chuckled as he swaggered drunkenly in the direction he had come from.
Leaving his hands in the air, he curled his fingers into fists and shook them at the sky.
“I’m alive!” he shouted hoarsely, his voice swallowed by the wind.
Yes, he was alive, and he planned to savor every single moment of his precious remaining time.
Chapter Twenty
By the end of their voyage, India was ready to howl. Udaya was confined to her cabin retching her guts up, Kavi was caring for his sea-sick wife, and Ridge was avoiding India like the plague.
The only person she saw with any regularity was Robby. He was above deck each evening when she escaped the dark quarters of her cabin. Sometimes they stood, unspeaking, and stared out over the expanse of the water, and other times Robby offered a salute and sauntered off to his cabin as if he was loathe to intrude on her solitude.
Tonight he was absent, and she found herself missing the companionship, even if they never really spoke. They were only a day out of port. One day until she handed Ridge his betrayal. She had the urge to join Udaya in her retching.
She reached into her pocket to retrieve the bracelet and lifted it so she could see it in the moonlight. Her fingers curled around the dull finish, and she longed to fling it into the sea.
What had once been her fondest dream had turned into a living nightmare. She regretted that she’d ever heard of Pagoria or that she had spent years researching the city, collecting information, deciphering the language. It had brought her nothing but grief.
The spark of excitement she had felt over the idea of finding the city, of entering it, had long since died. If her father wasn’t in grave danger, she would walk away from the city and never look back.
She stuffed the bracelet back into her pocket. One more day. She wanted to weep.
She missed Ridge. Missed his company. Missed their banter. And their stolen embraces. Her cheeks heated and her body began to tingle as she imagined him touching her. Holding her.
Did she love him? The question startled her, but it was an important question. She had never loved anyone save her father, Udaya and Kavi. She was sure she had loved her mother, but she couldn’trememberdoing so.
Was this why she struggled so over her deception? Was this why she felt the sting of tears every time she thought of having to leave him or that he would hate her?
You can’t love him, India. It will only cause you more hurt.
Too late. Admonishing herself certainly wouldn’t change the scope of her feelings. And she didn’t think she could hurt more than she did at the moment.
What kind of woman could betray the man she loved? But what kind of woman could choose her own happiness over the life of her father?
She was damned either way.
###
Ridge stepped quietly out of his cabin, a blanket in his hand. He knew he’d find her above deck. Staring out into the dark like she did every night.
Her back was to him, the breeze lifting the small curls at the nape of her neck and rustling them ever so softly. He moved so he could see her profile, yet hung back, not wanting her to know he was there yet.
She gazed mournfully at the sky, her chin upturned, exposing the smooth skin of her neck. He almost reached out a hand so great was his desire to smooth a finger down the gentle curve.
He could no longer go on as they were. Each ignoring the attraction between them, ignoring the fact that if they had reached Brighton even ten minutes later, they would have made love in the carriage. He wouldn’t pretend it didn’t happen. And he wouldn’t allow her to either.
He looked down at the blanket in his hand when he saw her shiver. Closing the distance between them, he slipped the blanket around her shoulders and pulled her back firmly against his chest.
She jumped at the contact and whipped her head around to see who it was. Caution radiated from her, but she relaxed when she saw him and turned her gaze back to the sea.
Her hair brushed against his face, and he inhaled her exotic scent. He should release her, but he liked the feel of her in his arms, and she made no move to escape.
“It won’t work, India. Ignoring what happened between us won’t make me forget it. Or want it to happen any less.”
She sucked in her breath and tensed against him.
“I know,” she said quietly.
