Tears slipped down her cheeks, and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to hold them at bay. Things had become too complicated. What had begun as a mission to save her father, had become something else entirely. She didn’t like the person she was becoming, and she didn’t like having the power to hurt someone.
She turned over, digging her head further into the pillow. Ridge wanted her, but she didn’t fit into his lifestyle any more than he fit into hers. Dreaming was dangerous. Something she learned years ago.
Women like Lucinda. Those were the type of women Ridge would settle down with and have babies. Those were the women who would enjoy home and a family. Enjoy a husband’s tender regard.
The most India could hope for was to bring her father home so that she could piece together the family she had. And hopefully her father wouldn’t want to continue his roaming around the world.
But still, she couldn’t staunch the longing deep in her heart. The senseless hope that she could enjoy a life with someone just like Ridge. Only now that she had met the viscount, the thought of a life with anyone but him was distasteful.
“Ridiculous. Ridiculous and fanciful,” she muttered. “After he finds out what you’re doing, he will loathe the very sight of you.”
And she wasn’t sure she could live with that.
Chapter Nineteen
The sun hadn’t risen when the group of travelers gathered outside the inn. Fog hung low to the ground, and the damp air clung to India’s clothes reminding her of the chill she had carried with her the day before.
“We should go,” Ridge murmured stiffly beside her. “The fog will obscure our movement, and we can be on the ship before the sun comes up.”
India glanced at Ridge then scanned the expressions of their group. Kavi wore a scowl, Udaya looked serene and Robby looked nervously left and right. He caught her gaze and offered a grin. She didn’t smile back. Truth was, she didn’t feel much like smiling.
“Our trunks are already loaded onto the other carriage,Sahib,” Kavi spoke up.
“Very good,” Ridge said approvingly. “Let’s be on our way then, shall we?”
India started forward to walk beside Ridge, but he turned away from her and walked ahead. She felt the pang in her heart even as she acknowledged he had every right to snub her. She had played with his emotions, acted the wanton, and then refused to at least be honest about wanting him.
The clopping of horses’ hooves and the soft slapping of leather broke the silence that lay as heavy as the fog. Wood creaked and groaned then stopped suddenly as a carriage halted in front of them.
The driver hopped down and opened the door. At the forefront, Robby extended a hand to assist Udaya up then stood back to allow Kavi entrance.
Ridge stood to the side as the others filed in. When it was her turn to board, Robby offered his arm to her. She paused for a moment when it looked like he would speak.
He offered her a cheeky grin. “I know you don’t like me.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “I don’t know you. It isn’t my practice to like or dislike people I have not formed an opinion of.”
“Then I trust you will form a good one of me during the course of this journey.”
He winked at her, and despite herself, despite the oppressive sadness that weighed on her, her face relaxed into a smile.
“You’re very sure of yourself,” she muttered, as she allowed him to assist her up.
She sat across from Kavi and Udaya, and Ridge slid onto the seat next to her. Lastly, Robby clamored up and pulled the door shut behind him.
“Well then, that’s that, I suppose,” Robby said as he slouched next to Ridge.
The carriage lurched forward and the occupants rode in silence. India tried not to remember the carriage ride yesterday and what almost happened. Ridge sitting so close to her was torture of the worst kind.
Finally mustering the nerve, she looked up at him. To her surprise he returned her gaze. For a long moment he stared just as boldly at her as she did at him. A subtle lift to his brow asked the unspoken question, and she flushed guiltily.
Unable to bear his scrutiny any further, she looked away, but not before she saw his frown. Her stomach dropped, and tears burned her eyelids. She bit her lip and balled her fingers into fists in her lap. She would not make a bigger fool of herself.
As the carriage rolled to a stop at the harbor, India’s stomach knotted even more. She stepped out of the carriage, the pungent odor of fish assailing her nostrils. The second carriage carrying their trunks rolled up, and Ridge walked over to oversee the loading of them onto the ship.
India stood quietly, gazing up at the ship that would carry them to Spain. To her father. To the city. To ultimate betrayal.
There was no happy ending no matter which path she chose. There was only the path that led to the least hurt.
