“I of course, will say nothing, but I must know, why did you tell me everything if you wouldn’t tell Case?”
“I do not know,” she admitted. “You deserved the truth, and I—I trust you.”
“I’m glad you trusted that part of yourself to me,” he said softly.
He cradled her cheeks in his hands and bent his head to hers, lightly touching his lips to hers. “I want you, Jillian. I want you mind, body and soul, but I can wait. I won’t pressure you. When you are ready I will be waiting.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Jillian sat in the window seat of her bedroom, legs drawn up, her arms crossed over her knees. Her chin rested on her arms as she gazed out over the landscape. The sun was just coming up over the horizon, dispelling the light fog and glistening off the rapidly melting snow.
She had slept little, her night spent replaying the day’s events in her head. She hadn’t faced him since he found her in the stables. A feeling of vulnerability niggled at her. She had bared her darkest secrets to him, told him things that she had never even voiced aloud. Never before had she felt so utterlyexposed.
Justin’s words haunted her.I want you, Jillian. The idea both frightened her and set her pulse to racing. Her only experience with coupling had been brutal and humiliating. How it would be between two normal people, she couldn’t hazard a guess.
He had told her he would wait until she was ready. How she wished she had the courage to go to him, to ask him for what she wanted. She could not imagine such a thing with anyone other than Justin. For that reason alone she had try.
In the back of her mind, her courage mounted. She would go to Justin, this evening, before she lost her nerve. She bit her lips nervously as she imagined the encounter. No matter what happened afterwards, she wanted this one night with him.
###
Jillian ate her evening meal in silence. The food was tasteless, and it weighed heavily in her stomach. She couldn’t bring herself to meet Justin’s inquisitive stare, and she breathed a sigh of relief when he rose and asked her to join him in the sitting room. Then panic set in as she realized the moment had come.
As they entered the sitting room, he stopped to pour a drink from a decanter that rested near the piano. He handed her a glass. “You look as if you could do with this.”
She gratefully accepted it, if for no other reason, it served to give her something to focus her attention on.
“Jillian—”
She jumped as he spoke her name.
“Is there something bothering you?” he asked.
“No—yes—not bothering me,” she said, heat creeping up her neck.
She set her glass down and reached out her hand as if to touch him. She pulled it back, but he caught her fingers in his hand.
“What is it, Jillian?”
She could feel her cheeks growing warmer. Her tongue felt thick as she fought to try and put into words what she wanted.
“I’m ready,” she said simply.
Surprise lit his eyes then they darkened. “Do you know what it is you are saying?” he asked hoarsely.
“Yes—it is what I want.”
He turned her hand over in his and raised it to his lips, pressing a kiss into her upturned palm. “Are you sure?”
She nodded, not taking her eyes from her hand, still so close to his lips.
He twined his fingers in hers and brought her hand down to his side, pulling her close. He led her towards the stairs, holding her hand tightly. As they climbed the steps and turned down the hallway to his bedchambers, she chanced a look at him and saw warm desire reflected in his eyes. She shivered, and he squeezed her hand reassuringly.
He opened the door, and she walked in ahead of him into his room, looking nervously over at the large bed. She sat down on the bed’s edge as he closed the door behind them and waited for him. As he slowly made his way over to where she sat, she eyed him with growing trepidation. He stopped a short distance from the bed and stood looking at her.
“I’m afraid,” she admitted. Her voice wavered and she ended her confession in a near whisper.
“Come here,” he said quietly.
