Her body wanted him, of that there was no doubt. But in the deep recesses of her mind, beyond her perceived wants and desires, a part of her was afraid. The part she buried in order to protect herself had come rushing to the forefront in one unguarded moment. She felt betrayed by her own mind. Why had she pushed him away when all she really wanted to do was dissolve into his arms?
“Jillian—”
Oh God, he had followed her. She slowly turned around to face him, sure her mortification was reflected in her every movement.
“Jillian, I’ve come to apologize,” he said, shoving a hand through his hair. “It was not well done of me.”
“Oh, but it was,” she blurted out before she realized what she was saying. Her cheeks flamed. “What I meant is, don’t give it another thought.”
“Not going to dump snow over my head then?”
She smiled in relief, relaxing, as their teasing banter resumed.
“We should go inside,” Justin suggested. “I don’t want you catching a chill.” He turned to walk back up to the house.
“Justin?”
He turned back around. “Yes, Jillian?”
She hesitated a moment, gathering her courage for what she was about to ask. “Did you enjoy kissing me?”
Her tone was serious and he responded in kind. “Yes, Jillian, I did.”
###
He enjoyed kissing her! Jillian snuffed the candle that sat beside her bed and crawled beneath the warm covers where she lay staring at the ceiling. Her toes curled as she remembered the pressure of his lips against hers. The sensation was unfamiliar to her. Hadn’t Case told her that such things were normally pleasurable? She hadn’t believed him. Until now.
Lucas had stolen a few kisses before they were married, but she hadn’t felt as she did now. Later, he only kissed her to be hurtful, to punish her. Justin’s lips, his touch, had been achingly gentle. So why had she stopped him?
Because she wasn’t ready to give up that kind of control over her emotions. Never again.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Christmas Eve morning brought a fresh layer of snow, much to Jillian’s delight. She trudged out into soft powder, bringing the dogs with her. They frolicked and romped until the cold forced her back inside to warm herself by the fire.
The house was alive with Christmas festivities and decoration. A yule log had been brought to the hearth in the sitting room, and boughs of holly were placed in each room. Candles were alight in every conceivable location, and Justin jokingly remarked that if they managed not to burn the house down, it would be a miracle.
Jillian wandered from room to room enjoying the festive environment. Having never celebrated Christmas in such a fashion, she was both excited and intrigued. Justin had informed her that it was all his mother’s doing. She had not let a Christmas go by unnoticed.
Her longing intensified with every day she spent at Whittington. She truly had never realized just how much she craved the comfort of a family. Already she was dreading the day she would leave Justin’s estate—and him.
###
Just before noon, Case let himself into the front door and dropped his travel bag by the doorway for Edward to later put away. Damn, but it was good to be home. He could hardly wait to see how Justin and Jillian had fared during their time together.
“Hullo!” he called out.
A moment later Justin entered the foyer and they embraced warmly. “I’ve something to tell you later,” he murmured to Justin.
Before Justin could respond, Jillian burst in and threw herself in Case’s arms. “Case! I am so glad to see you!”
He hugged her tightly and then pulled her back to look at her. “You’ve been taking good care of her, Justin,” he said approvingly. She certainly looked happier than he’d seen her in a long time.
“Are you tired? Do you need to rest? Are you hungry?”
“Yes, no and yes,” he replied, laughing at her rapid tumble of questions.
“We were just about to sit down to have lunch,” Justin said. “Come and eat with us.”
