He envied Case his freedom. No one gave a fig who he married or if he married for that matter. He didn’t have a family heritage to see to, no pressure to provide an heir and no expectations to fulfill.
He also envied Case’s closeness to Jillian. He had never craved the friendship of a woman. Men in his position certainly weren’t friends with members of the opposite sex, but somehow he knew he would enjoy such a relationship with Jillian, but he didn’t want it to end there. He wanted more.
###
After dinner, Jillian retired to her room. Fatigue had set in as the events of the last few days caught up with her. She had set aside thoughts of the ominous letters and her carriage accident.Accident. More like murder attempt. She shuddered at the thought. Six months ago she would have been ready to die. Shewantedto die, but now she wanted to live. Resolve washed over her with fervor. She had survived, and never again would she set herself up for the kind of heartache she had experienced at Lucas’ hands. She was going to live, damn it. No one was going to take away her newfound freedom.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Why had she ever thought she wanted to learn to ride? Surely horses were the most miserable beasts in existence. The morning had started calmly enough. Jillian had donned the breeches and loose-fitting shirt Ben loaned her, but she felt ridiculous wearing a lacy camisole beneath men’s garb, so she settled for binding her breasts again. She wasn’t as conscientious in binding them this time since she wasn’t trying to disguise the fact that she was a woman. That, and the ability to breathe was important to her.
She met Justin in the stables, anxious to begin her lesson. He had already saddled the mare for her, and he began instructing her on the proper way to mount and sit in the sidesaddle. It looked simple enough.
Confident in her ability to master such an easy feat, she eased herself up and settled down with an indelicate plop. She flashed Justin a triumphant smile just as she fell over backwards off the horse. She hit the ground with a resounding thud that knocked the breath from her. The horse looked at Jillian with a bored expression and tossed its head.
Jillian clamored up before Justin reached her, sputtering in indignation. “That, that horse is laughing at me!”
Justin’s lips twitched suspiciously. “Try again,” he said in a subdued tone. He looked to be trying valiantly to keep his amusement at bay, but the sparkle in his eyes betrayed him.
She gave him a frosty stare as she rounded the horse and stepped into the stirrup again. True, most ladies mounted from a step, but Jillian was determined to learn the correct way of doing things. At least she didn’t have a mass of annoying skirts to contend with.
Gritting her teeth, Jillian heaved herself up once more. She gingerly perched on the edge of the saddle, careful not to place her weight on the other side this time. A slow smile spread across her face, and she relaxed her stance. She gathered the reins from the pommel and promptly dropped them. Cursing under her breath, she leaned forward, her chest against the horse’s mane. She stretched her fingers as far as she could, reaching for the dangling reins, but they remained just a fingertip out of reach. This time her expletives weren’t muttered under her breath.
Justin lost his battle and laughed aloud. Jillian sighed and slid from the saddle. She stepped forward and bent over to collect the reigns that were trailing in the dust. She curled her fingers around them when the horse nipped her on the behind, sending her sprawling to the ground. Justin lost all control and howled with laughter.
“That miscreant beast bit me!” Jillian exclaimed. She rolled to her back and shuffled backwards away from the horse who was eyeing her balefully. “Justin, she bit my bottom!”
Justin sat down on a nearby stool looking like he was trying desperately to compose himself. He gasped for breath, his eyes watering profusely. Jillian stood in front of him, her hands on her hips, glaring down at him.
“I thought you said she was docile. You said she was old andeven-tempered, theperfecthorse for my first ride.”
Justin hooted in laughter again.
Jillian turned and stomped back over to the horse in disgust. She picked up the reins and gathered them up tight in her hand. “Now you listen to me, you cantankerous, ill-mannered brute. I am going to get on you, and I am going to ride you, and if you give me a moment’s trouble, I will hand deliver you to the village butcher.”
She glared at the horse and then swung herself forcefully into the saddle. “Now that mounting is out of the way, how do I make her go?”
“I think it best that I lead you until you are accustomed to being in the saddle,” Justin said, reaching for the reins.
“Nonsense, I’m in the saddle, just tell me what to do.”
“Very well. We will do it your way. Click your left heel against her side when you are ready to start. But not until—”
Jillian dug her heels into the horse and Queenie ambled forward. “Justin, Justin! How do I make her stop?” she called frantically.
“No, no, Jillian,” he yelled, running after her. “Don’t dig your heels—”
Her dangling legs came down once more and Queenie broke into a trot. Horse and rider took off towards the stream, Jillian flopping about on the saddle as she desperately tried to maintain her perch on the horse’s back.
Justin swung onto Cyclops and cantered after her. He topped the rise above the stream just in time to see Jillian go sailing over Queenie’s head and land with a splash in the water. He hurried forward to fish her out. She sat waist deep in the brook, shaking the water from her hands. Justin waded in to assist her to her feet.
“Are you all right?” he asked in concern.
“Of c-c-course I’m all right,” she said, her teeth chattering from the cold. She stomped from the water and let loose a string of expletives that made Justin wince.
“Jillian, wherever did you learn to talk like that?”
“I’ve heard Case use them,” she said flippantly.
