She couldn’t bear to look at the hurt in their faces. They looked completely and utterly betrayed.
“I didn’t lie,” she said quietly. “Not about us.”
“You look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t stay because you were protecting us,” Cam bit out.
She stared back at him unblinkingly. “I can’t tell you that, Cam. I did stay to protect you, but that wasn’t the only reason. Haven’t you figured out yet that I’d do anything for you? All of you?”
Sawyer swore and turned away from her. A crack ricocheted through her chest, nearly splitting her in two.
“How hard?” Cam bit out. “How hard did you have to look for an excuse to stay with us? At least be honest now, Reggie. Would you have ever stayed with us if you weren’t worried about our safety?”
She froze, unsure of what to say, of how to say it. Yeah, in the beginning, she’d needed all the prompting in the world to agree to something so outlandish. That didn’t make her an evil bitch, for God’s sake. What mattered, what should matter, were the conclusions she’d come to since. But maybe she’d been wrong, because they didn’t appear to trust her very much after all.
“I’ll take your silence as all the answer I need,” Cam said in disgust.
The phone rang, and Cam yanked it up, his face dark with anger.
“Hello,” he barked.
He paused for a moment then thrust the receiver toward her.
“Your chief,” he said shortly.
She took the phone, damning the timing. She didn’t have time for work shit. She had to make this right with the guys. But Cam wasn’t waiting around. He turned abruptly and stalked away. Fear took hold. A knot formed in her throat. Cam never walked away.
With trembling hands, she raised the phone to her ear.
“Yes, sir,” she said by way of greeting.
“I need you to come in,” he said, cutting straight to the point. “DA wants to meet with you. There are some holes in this case we’re trying to sew up.”
“Sir, this really isn’t a good time,” she began.
“I’m sorry, Regina. I need you here. This is too important. Can I expect you within the hour?”
She sighed and closed her eyes. Damn, damn, damn!
“Yes, sir. I’ll be right there.”
She punched the Off button and slowly put the phone down on the counter.
“I’ve got to go. I can’t put this off,” she said in a low voice. “We’ll talk about this when I get back.”
“Will you be back?” Hutch asked coolly.
Her gaze flickered up to his, and she couldn’t hide the hurt in her expression.
“Do you want me to come back?”
“We only want you back if this is where you want to be,” Sawyer interjected. “But maybe you ought to be thinking aboutwhyyou’d come back. Because you being here out of some fucked up sense of obligation or you wanting to protect us from the big bad wolf? I don’t want you here for that. This isn’t about some stupid ass equipment, Reggie. It’s about you and us and the fact that maybe we’re tired of putting our lives on hold when you have no intention of giving us what we want. And hey, maybe it’s not what you want. That’s cool. Just say it. But quit jerking us around.”
Panic rolled through her like a locomotive. Had they finally reached the end of their patience with her? Numb. She was numb from head to toe. And then she looked up and saw the dead look in Hutch’s eyes.
She turned and walked out of the kitchen. It was either go now or break down in front of them.
She heard the crack of a fist meeting a wall, and she flinched, but she didn’t go back. She couldn’t go back until she had the time to convince them that she loved them and that she wanted to be with them. Always.
She only hoped to hell they’d listen to her this time and that she hadn’t used up her allotment of second chances.
