He shot to his feet and began to pace restlessly. His body language screamed agitation. Tension rolled off him like a heat wave.
She waited and watched as he grappled with whatever demon held him in its grip.
He stopped and turned to her, one hand on the back of his neck. “It just hit me wrong, baby. I walked in the door, and I see you bent over the couch, hands tied behind your back, Sawyer’s handprint on your ass. What was I supposed to think?”
He blew out his breath, but she could see he wasn’t angry any longer. He seemed confused. Andsad.
“My dad used to beat up on my mom,” he confessed in an ashamed whisper.
Her heart lurched and squeezed, but she remained quiet, wanting to hear what he had to say. He never talked about his family. Never talked about his life before he arrived at Birdie’s. As close as they were and had been for years, everything she knew about him came forward from that point.
“He was a bastard. An alcoholic who was almost as mean when he was sober as he was drunk. When he got tired of knocking my mom around, he’d come after me and my brother.”
She gasped. She didn’t even know he had a brother.
“I remember how helpless I felt and how angry it made me because I couldn’t help her. I couldn’t help my brother. I was completely and utterly powerless.”
“Hutch, you were just a boy,” she said gently.
“Yeah, just a kid,” he said derisively. “I haven’t thought about those times in years, Reggie, but when I came home and saw that, it was like seeing my dad and my mom all over again. I know what I did was wrong, but it sickened me to think of anyone ever hurting you like that.”
He looked away guiltily. “And maybe I’ve just been waiting for Sawyer to screw up. I’ve never liked how rough he was with you, but I’ve sat on my hands and held my tongue because I knew it would only cause an argument, and I guess deep down, I know I’m being an ass.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but he began pacing again.
“He killed her, Reggie. And the bastard got away with it. Her death was ruled an accident. Ironically she was drunk. She never drank, but I guess that night it was just too much for her. He pushed her down the stairs and then played the grieving husband. I couldn’t stay there anymore so I ran, and I never went back.”
The ache in her heart grew as she saw the raw pain grooved into his face. He looked as lost as Sawyer had looked when Hutch had condemned him.
“I thought your parents were dead . . . like Cam’s and Sawyer’s,” she said quietly. “I never realized . . . I mean you never talked about them.”
“What’s to tell?” he said derisively. “My old man wasn’t exactly something to write home about, and I was always afraid that I’d get sent back to him. It was easier to pretend he didn’t exist.”
She rose falteringly, her feet unsteady beneath her. And then she went to him, sliding her arms around his waist and burying her face in his chest.
“I’m sorry, Hutch.”
He gripped her tightly to him, his chest heaving with unspent emotion. “You have nothing to apologize for, Reggie. I was a complete and utter jerk. I jeopardized everything. Not only for me but for Sawyer and Cam. Can you ever forgive me for that?”
She closed her eyes, hoping it was as simple as forgiveness. For all of them.
“You have to make this right with Sawyer,” she said quietly.
“I know. But first I had to make it right with you. What I did was unforgivable. I did exactly what we swore we wouldn’t. Put you between us. I love you, Reggie. And I’m sorry.”
She squeezed him tighter. “I’m going to go up and wait for Sawyer, okay?”
Hutch rubbed his hands up and down her back. “I’m so glad you came home, baby. I was so worried. Don’t leave like that again please. Next time stay and kick my ass or makemeleave, but don’t walk out. This is your home. You belong with us even though I don’t deserve you.”
She smiled and then tilted her head back so she could lean up to kiss him. “I’m tired and it’s been a long day. I’m gonna head up and crawl into Sawyer’s bed. I just hope to hell he comes home so I can talk some sense into his head.”
Guilt flashed again across Hutch’s face. He started to speak, but she held a finger over his lips.
“Save it for Sawyer,” she said gently.
He nodded and loosened his hold on her. She let her hands slide down his arms to his wrists, and then she squeezed his hands once before turning to head up the stairs.
She hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but when she heard the door creak open and saw the time, she realized she had.
