His heart about to beat out of his chest, he turned her roughly, spreading her thighs, and as soon as she was on her back, he thrust into her, eliciting a gasp of surprise from her. Just as soon as shock registered in her eyes, it was replaced by a hazy glaze of passion and need.
He withdrew more gently than he’d plunged into her, mindful of how tender she must be after taking on two different men in the spanof a few hours, and then surged forward again, burying himself in her silken depths.
He stared fiercely down at her, even as his hips moved back and forth, setting a leisurely pace, but he ached. Down deep where he’d never felt anything, had neverallowedanyone close enough to touch that part of him.
“No.Fuckno,” he said forcefully. “Goddamn it, Angel. How the hell do you turn me inside out like this? You have me so twisted up inside that I can’t fucking breathe.Angrywith you? Hell no. You think you did something wrong?Nothingyou’ve done is wrong. You are everything that is right and perfect and good in my world. Don’teverthink you’ve said or done anything wrong. Until the day you lie to me, I will never have reason to be angry or disappointed with you.”
Already close to going over the edge and losing himself in her silken femininity, he thrust fully into her and remained there, embedded to the hilt, his chest heaving with emotion and need. So much need. It was as if she’d opened an old wound, making it raw again. As if for the first time since his childhood, when he’d learned early to shut himself off to others and feel nothing, he was feeling again. It wasn’t a comfortable sensation. He felt far too exposed and, goddamn it,vulnerable. The very thing he’d lamented her feeling just moments ago.
“I’ll never lie to you, Drake,” she said, her voice, even her expression extremely solemn and sincere. “I’ve given you my unconditional trust, and I’d like very much if you could trust me in the same way. I understand if it’s too soon, if it’s not something you can give me right now. But one day, I hope to gain it, because having you, having your trust, is all I willeverwant. Not your money. Social status. Nothing but you and my hope that you’ll have as much faith and trust in me as I do you.”
Ice-cold fear pervaded his chest, momentarily freezing him, rendering him incapable of speech. He trusted few people in his life. Less than ten and all were his brothers. He’d never trusted any woman he’d beenwith much less had unconditional faith in one. Experience had taught him that the women who flocked to him had no interest in him. Only what he could provide them. But fuck it all. He had to saysomethingto her. He couldn’t lie there and stare at her like a fucking moron.
He could almost feel her slipping through his fingers like running water. Impossible to hold on to. Women,especiallya woman like her, who put it all out there, baring her heart and soul made herself vulnerable, open to rejection. She, who was the most honest, sincere person he’d ever known, wouldn’t stay with a man if she didn’t feel as though he would ever return the very things she so unconditionally offered him.
But she seemed to understand the internal war that raged within him. She smiled sweetly, her eyes warm and full of understanding as she placed one finger over his lips.
“I don’t expect you to trust me or have faith in me this instant,” she said, her voice full of all the sweetness that made her the angel she was.Hisangel. “Trust and faith must beearnedand it doesn’t happen overnight. In time it will come. Or it won’t. All I’m telling you is that you have both from me. No conditions. No reservations. No going back. And I hope that one day you can offer me the same unreservedly. I don’t want the words just to placate me, Drake. Words are meaningless. Never give me those words unless you truly mean it. But until such time as you feel those things anddemonstratethem, I’ll be here waiting. I’m not going anywhere. Unless you decide you no longer want me.”
There was a hint of sadness as she said the last, her eyes dulling before she visibly composed herself and offered him the warmth of her smile, her eyes brightening once more.
Not want her? Her entire statement was filled with enough fodder for him to be thinking and reflecting on for months, if notyears. But notwanther?
Okay, so maybe in his past affairs—he wouldn’t call themrelationships, because to do so would demean what he had with Evangelinenow—such a statement from the woman involved would be likely—no, not even likely. It would be aneventuality. Inevitable. Because he never kept the same woman for more than a day, two at the most. But even given the short amount of time he’d known Evangeline, he couldn’timaginenot wanting her. And that scared the shit out of him.
He buried his face in her hair, overwhelmed by her generous, loving nature and his acknowledgment of the selfish bastard he was.
“I don’t deserve you,” he said, gruffly giving voice to something he’d never before said to another woman. Something he’d never believed before now or even entertained. But he knew, whether his heart and mind were in agreement or not, that Evangeline deserved far better than he could ever give her. Even as the thought of her with another man sent fiery rage through his veins.
He closed his eyes, inhaling the scent of her hair, nuzzling lightly through the satiny tresses.
“I don’t deserve to walk on the same ground as you. But God help me, I won’t give you up. Ican’tgive you up. You deserve a man who can offer you all the things you give to him and more. More than I can give you, Angel. You deserve far better than I can ever give you.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you’ve decided you can’t give me up since I don’t plan on going anywhere,” she said lightly. “I’m yours, Drake. For as long as you want me, I’m yours.”
He could envision the smile he was certain was on her face. The one that lit up an entire room and bathed it in sunshine. He knew without seeing her exactly what she looked like right this very moment, and it only made him feel like an even bigger bastard.
She tenderly tugged his head away so their gazes met and then cradled his face with her palms, her touch as soothing as an ocean breeze. There was such gentle understanding in her eyes that the rock-hard shell that had surrounded his heart and mind for so much of his life began to crack and splinter, and he knew he couldn’t allow it to shatterand fall apart. How could one innocent woman wreak so much havoc in his well-ordered existence? A daily routine that had become an unyielding ritual, shot to hell, not to mention the conscience he had never possessed pickednowto reveal itself? He was as merciless and as cutthroat as they came. He hadn’t gotten to where he was by being soft or suffering symptoms of a conscience or by adhering to any rules save his own. And yet one tiny woman threatened the only way of life he’d ever known? The life he’d created for himself out of sheer necessity.
He knew he should cut her loose now. Do the right thing and push her away. Let her go before he ended up destroying them both. But at least the cold, ruthless man he had been for as long as he could remember hadn’t disappeared—yet. And thank God for that, because as long as he remained a heartless, selfish bastard there was no way in hell he would ever let Evangeline go.
If that made him a complete asshole, then so be it. He would shield her from the reality of the world he lived in and make sure that his other life—the one she had no knowledge of—never touched her in any way.
He’d learned at a very young age that nothing is ever guaranteed and promises are rarely—if ever—kept. But he would make himself one promise right now, a risk he’d never before taken, because broken promises to others were bad enough, but breaking a vow to himself was unthinkable.
He wouldn’t hurt Evangeline, nor would he ever lie to her. She deserved that much respect and it was more than he ever offered anyone else. He would do whatever it took to protect and shield her from the truth, the reality, but he couldn’t bring himself to lie to her when she demonstrated so much trust and faith in him.
Trusting others was an alien concept to him, but for her, he would try. He could learn. She’d already taught him much. That good did exist in a world that hadn’t done much to prove that fact to him. She’d given him no reason to doubt her or her motives, and that alone was far moredeserving than what he currently offered her. Anything that money could buy, but his angel wasn’t for sale. Couldn’t be bought. What she wanted most was something he wasn’t sure he could give her.
He trusted his men, as much as he was capable of trusting someone, but he wasn’t fool enough to think they’d never betray him. Could he ever offer Evangeline something he couldn’t even give men he considered brothers? He didn’t have an answer to that yet, but he could damn well try.
He eased from the velvety clasp that clutched greedily at his dick, causing them both to emit a low moan after his remaining at maximum depth with no movement for a prolonged period of time.
She felt swollen and tight around him, his cock hypersensitive as her inner walls clamped down and squeezed as though protesting his retreat.
“Am I hurting you?” he asked roughly.
“No. Yes. God, I don’t know. Just don’t stop.”
