He gripped her shoulders and melded his lips to hers, taking her mouth hungrily, desperation beating at him, an incessant, unrelenting force.
Her eyes glistened with tears, but slowly she nodded and in a halting voice, hoarse from the strain of holding back so much emotion, she said, “I promise, Isaac. But only if you promise me the same.”
His eyes narrowed as rage consumed him all over again. In no way, in no version of his life, would there ever not be a Jenna, but he’d forced the vow from her, even seeing the agony it caused her, so he could do no less than utter the same promise—even if he didn’t mean a damn word of it. A life without Jenna was unthinkable. He’d be a mere shadow of his former self, a shell going about the motions like a robot programmed to perform specific functions, but his heart, and his soul, would forever be wherever she was.
He nodded, unable to give voice to the statement she’d barely managed herself.
“What are we going to do?” she asked, her eyes begging him for a miraculous solution, and God, he wished he could give her one. He wanted to give her everything her heart had ever desired, but this was out of his hands and there were no miracles, save those God chose to bestow on the worthy, and Isaac had proved his unworthiness long before Jenna had swept into his life and restored the faith he’d discarded along the way.
“We knew as soon as we saw the newscast why the cult was eliminated, and in all honesty, the hit had most likely been ordered long before you escaped. It occurred mere days after the exchange was supposed to have happened. The cult still wanted access to you even after they turned you over to a drug kingpin and there was no way Jaysus would ever let anyone have use of his prized possession. If the exchange had taken place and you were now in his hands, the massacre would still have occurred because he didn’t want to chance leaving anyone who had knowledge of your existence or your ability to heal alive. With no one left who knew you existed, no one would have ever asked questions about your disappearance and Jaysus would never have to worry about anyone but him knowing anything about your gift.”
Her expression grew fearful once she realized how close she came to being swallowed up in a hole she could never escape from and having absolutely no one who would ever look for her.
“We have a plan that’s already been put into action,” he soothed. “Caleb, Beau and Zack took their wives to a safe house and they’ll have heavy guard at all time. Tori is with Dane and he has money and connections, not to mention firepower, that likely will come damn close to matching Jaysus’s own. Wade Sterling has taken Eliza to an undisclosed location not even known to us, and like Dane, he has not only a lot of money but a lot of power and an entire security team of trained professionals.”
“And us?” she asked anxiously. “The rest of the men?”
“We’re staying right here. It’s heavily fortified, stocked with six months of provisions, not to mention a very impressive arsenal, courtesy of Dane. We’re hiding in plain sight, and I don’t think even Jaysus would think to look for us in a downtown high-rise building, and even if he did, we have a safe room that he’d need serious firepower, as in military-grade weaponry, to breach it, and there are multiple escape exits if we ever need to get the hell out fast.”
“So we just stay here?” she asked hesitantly, biting into her bottom lip.
“That’s exactly what we do,” he said, injecting confidence and reassurance into his tone.
“But we can’t just hide forever,” she said doubtfully.
“No. We wait for him to come to us. He’s desperate, and desperate men eventually fuck up. They always do. Eventually he’ll grow tired of waiting for us to go out and he’ll be furious that he’s been thwarted, and he’ll make a move to come after us. And we’ll be watching and waiting and when he does rear his ugly head, we’ll take him out.”
Her breath hiccupped in a sigh of relief and she sagged against him, resting her cheek on his chest. “As long as I have you with me, it doesn’t matter where we are,” she said, sincerity audible in every word.
“You’ll always have me, baby. I’m not going anywhere and neither are you. I need you, Jenna. I’m not ashamed to admit that I need you in order to breathe, in order not to lose the last vestiges of a soul you restored with your love and your light. Before you I existed in the shadows, never seeing the sun until the day you touched me and filled me with the most beautiful peace I’ve ever known.”
“I don’t know what to say, what to do when you say things like that,” she said, her eyes filled with bewilderment, her words laden with emotion.
“Just say you love me too and that you need me even a fraction as much as I need you,” he said, knowing his expression, his eyes, his entire demeanor was as serious as could be. And truthful. It was all he needed from her. It was all he’d ever need from her. Just her love. She didn’t even have to love him as deeply as he loved her, because he loved her enough for both of them.
“And promise me you’ll never give up on me,” he added, anxiety gripping him because he hadn’t included this in his previous statement. “Never give up on us. I know it’s not easy right now and at times I won’t be easy to live with. I’m well aware of the disparity in what you offer me—how much more you offer me and can give me than what I can offer in return. I’ll always be trying to catch up and while I know it isn’t possible that I ever will, what I can offer is given with all my heart, my soul, my life. I belong and will always belong to you. I’m yours to command. Any wish you have, I’ll move heaven and earth to make it come true. Just never give up on me, baby. Please. I can’t even think about the possibility of a life without you in it because it makes me insane. Ithurts.”
He felt as though he’d just carved his heart out of his chest and laid the still beating organ in front of her as proof of just how utterly, completely, insanely in love with her he was. He’d just stripped himself of every defense, every shield that had become permanent fixtures over time. He’d never allowed anyone to see beyond those barriers and now he was completely vulnerable before her, his heart, his expression, his tense body begging her not to deny him and to trust him enough to give herself to him forever, even through the rough times.
Her eyes grew soft, her face suddenly glowing, and her smile chased away every doubt, fear and worry. She caressed his jaw, cradling it in her small palm, the very palm she held his heart in, and looked at him with such love that it caused a physical ache in his chest.
“Isaac, have you not been listening to anything I’ve been saying to you?” she teased, running her fingers over his lips and then back to his jaw. “I’ve been sick with worry over the thought, the very real possibility of losing you, of you dying because of me.”
Her gaze went misty and she swallowed several times as if trying to collect herself.
“You don’t ever have to ask for my promise not to give up on you or us or worry that at the first sign of adversity, I’ll decide you aren’t what I want or need and just walk away. You’re my entire world, the very best part of my world,” she whispered softly. “I believe with all my heart and soul that God sent you to me. To save me. To protect me. To love me. To be the man to give me all the things I’ve dreamed of having but never thought possible. I never thought I would be free, much less find freedomanda man who is everything I’ve ever imagined, when all I had were my hopes and fantasies of a life outside the walls of my prison. It’s me who should be on my knees beggingyounot to ever give up on me or decide I’m not worth the trouble and anguish I’ve caused you and every single person you work with. You aren’t getting the best deal,” she said wryly.
“I’m ignorant of so many things that others take for granted. The world, what I’ve seen of it, still mystifies me and at times I feel utterly lost and like I’ll never fit in. I don’t know what’s correct and what isn’t. The city overwhelms me and makes me feel like I’ll get swallowed up by it and never find my way out. People intimidate me and I’m painfully shy. I don’t even understand why you would want someone like me, but I’m not questioning fate or the fact you love me and that I love you. I’ll never give up on you, but please, don’t ever give up on me either. I need your patience and understanding and for you to help me find my way in a vast, unfamiliar world that’s suddenly been thrust upon me.”
Isaac silenced her with his mouth, crushing his lips to hers. He couldn’t bear to hear her disparage and doubt herself. He kissed her long and deep, fiercely at first, infusing all the passion, love and longing he felt for the woman who owned every single part of him.
Then he softened his movements and they became more gentle and tender, absorbing and savoring the sweetness of her taste, her smell, the way she felt in his arms. Finally, a long while later, Isaac drew back, sucking in great mouthfuls of air into his oxygen-starved lungs. Her face was flushed and glowing, her eyes were shining with wonder and her lips were swollen and a darker pink. She had the look of a woman who’d been thoroughly kissed. He loved that look on her, knowing that he’d been the one to mark her, the one to make her light up and to put the slightly dazed look of love and happiness in her eyes.
“Are we really okay here, Isaac?” she asked, placing her hand on his chest, right over his heart.
He slid his hand over hers to trap it there so she could feel the beat, that it beat only for her.
“We’re safe, baby. We just have to be patient and wait for Jaysus to getimpatientand start making mistakes. And he will. Men as obsessed and fixated as he is always fuck up and take stupid risks. And that’s when we nail his ass to the wall.”
