“I’ll never forget those six hours for as long as I live.”
He prowled closer to her, trying to contain his rioting emotions, but he was fast losing that battle.
“As. Long. As. I. Live. Jenna. I’ll never forget. I’ll always remember waking up to find you gone and knowing in my gut that something was horribly wrong.”
She had a faintly puzzled look in her eyes and her lips were turned down into a forlorn frown.
“I explained why I did it,” she said quietly, glancing down as she knotted her fingers together, twisting them in agitation. “I did it to keep all of you safe. I’m not evenpayingyou, Isaac, and you told me yourself this is your job—I mean it’s what you do. You protect people. DSS is a company and companies have to make money. I may not know much about the real world and how it works, but I do know that much,” she said, slight bitterness to her tone. “Not only was I a drain on your personnel and your business, but I was also putting every single one of you at risk of dying, because we all know they aren’t going to kill me. At least not until they get what they want, and even then, why would they get rid of me when they could have use for me at any time? The rest of you are expendable. Killing you is nothing to them and only puts them one step closer to their objective. Me.”
She cocked her head, sending him a look of pure confusion mixed with deep, unrelenting sadness. She looked so dejected that he wanted to howl because it seemed nothing he said got through, nothing he did made her happy or smile, and she was a woman meant for sunshine and laughter.
“I would think that every single one of you would be glad to see me go. Do you think Caleb, Beau, Zack or Wade want to lose their wives? Or that the Devereauxs want to lose their sister? Do you think any of your teammates want to die for a woman they don’t even know who’s giving them no incentive to take on the task of protecting her? You can’t just stop everything and focus the full resources of your company on me.”
“The hell I can’t!”Isaac roared, making her jump. He stared at her, completely agape, unbelieving of all that had just come out of her mouth. “My God, woman, you just don’tgetit.”
He tilted his head back, lifting his gaze to the ceiling. He roughly massaged his nape while wiping wearily at his eyes with his other hand.
“Jesus,” he muttered, shaking his head. He was momentarily speechless, unsure of what the hell to say in response to the crap she’d just stated. Worse was the fact that she believed every word of it. This was the single most important battle of his life, and he was losing so fucking badly it wasn’t even funny.
She stared at him in utter bewilderment. “What? What don’t I get, Isaac? I don’t understand any of this. I don’t know the rules or much about anything in the real world. I’m doing the best I can, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or think or feel!”
He closed the last few steps between them, pulling her into his arms and then sliding his hands up her body to frame her face so she was forced to look at him and unable to turn away. He put every bit of what he felt into his words, willing them to sink in, for her to understand and to accept what he had to say.
His expression was fierce, his actions were fierce, but he poured every ounce of love he had for this woman into every word, every facet of his expression and in his gaze, willing her to finally see the heart of him, because God only knew he was standing in front of her naked and as vulnerable as a man could ever be. He was perilously close to dropping to his knees andbegging.
He let it all go. He made no effort to temper his tone, his emotions, or even pretend to have a calm, rational conversation. He wanted to yell to the world that he loved her so damn much that itdefiedall rational thought or action. He didn’t give one fuck if the entire floor heard his heated declaration just as long as the one person who mattered heard it.Reallyheard it. He wanted her tofeelit.
“What you don’t get is that I care about you, Jenna. I care so much it’s killing me. The thought of being apart from you hurts. The idea that I can’t protect you, that I’ve failed you, that destroys me!”
Her eyes were twin mirrors of shock and she went completely still in his hands.
“I’m in so deep that there’s no way I’ll ever dig my way out, and baby, I’mrightwhere I want to be. So far inside you that you’ll never be free of me. I want to make love to you with a desperation that’s eating me alive and consumes my every waking thought. I want to take you bare, with nothing between us so we’re skin to skin, as close as two people can ever be. I want to give you a baby.Mybaby. So you’ll be bound to me forever with no way of ever escaping me. I love the image of you round and swollen with my child, of me loving you forever. Of building a family with you. I want tokeepyou pregnant all the time so you’ll never even think about leaving me because you’ll be wrapped up in me and all the babies I’m going to give you.
“I’ll take such good care of you, honey,” he said, caressing his hands over her cheeks, his words and expression pleading with her for understanding and acceptance. “No onewill ever love you more than I will. There is nothing I won’t do to keep you happy and safe every single day for the rest of our lives. I’ll give you the moon if you ask me for it. I’ll give you anything you ever wanted or dreamed of except ...”
He dropped one hand from her face and dragged it raggedly through his hair, shame crowding his thoughts, but he’d long since lost any sense of shame or pride when it came to her.
“I won’t let you go,” he said in a voice clogged with emotion and worry as he waited for her to condemn him with a look. For fear or disappointment to fill her beautiful blue eyes and baby-fine features. He steeled himself for rejection, even as he barged forward, determined for her to have it all. Every single truth as he laid his soul bare.
“I can’t give you that, baby. That’s the only thing I’ll ever deny you, because God help me, I’m a selfish bastard and it would kill me to ever let you walk away.”
He sucked in a deep breath and then let her see exactly the kind of man he was. Selfish. Determined. And so fucking in love that she filled every empty void he’d hidden, refused to acknowledge and had accepted as a permanent, aching part of him.
“If I have to, I’ll tie you to my bed every night so I never have to worry about you leaving me. I’ll doanythingto keep you. No matter what it takes or what lengths I have to go to. I’ll give you the world, your heart’s desire, and I just pray that your heart’s desire is never to be free of me because that’s the one thing Ican’tgive you. Your freedom. I can’t, Jenna. I wish I were a better man, but fuck it. If being a better man means just letting you walk away from me then I don’t want to be that man.
“God, I’m such a bastard to even think that way, much less say it out loud, when you’ve been a prisoner for damn near your entire life, and yet here I am locking you up again and refusing to free you. But honey, it will be the sweetest of prisons. I swear on my life that I’ll spoil you ridiculously and pamper and take care of you and love you so damn much that you never look at it for what it is—a prison—but instead you’ll only see your forever home. And a man who loves you more than life.”
He grew more serious, his eyes boring intently into hers. He knew this was everything. That nothing would ever be more important than this moment. No job, no mission would ever be this necessary for his survival.
“I’ll protect you with my life. You and our children. I’ll never let evil touch you again. I’ll bust my ass every damn day we have together to give you everything you could possibly ever wish for, and the only reward I’ll ever want or need is your smile and your happiness. For those things, I’ll kill myself working to make it happen. Everything I ever do from this day forward is for you, baby. Only. Always. For you.”
She looked overcome with emotion, hot tears running like rivers down her face, colliding with his hand, falling too fast for him to wipe them away.
“I’m sorry,” she began, her voice breaking. “I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t know ... I didn’t realize ...”
Oh hell no. She wasn’t apologizing. He silenced her with a kiss, molding his lips hotly to hers, licking at the seam of her mouth until she opened for him. He delved inward, stroking, tasting, savoring and absorbing the very essence of her. He pulled her close, so there was no space between them, his palm on the back of her head, holding her right where he wanted while he plundered her mouth in an endless kiss.
Nothing had ever felt—tasted—so sweet. Nothing had ever been so ... perfect ... as the feel of her in his arms, her small, soft body melting into his. He wanted a lifetime of these moments, holding her as tightly as possible and savoring their closeness.God, please give me this.He knew he’d sworn never to ask for more than for her to be safe, unharmed, and for him to get her back, but he had to make one last plea. For her to be his forever.
