She fidgeted nervously, looking down at her hands before finally meeting his gaze once more.
“Before, when I asked you about what you and the others do, you weren’t honest or not completely honest when you answered me, were you?”
He tensed all over, the dread in his heart increasing with every breath. He’d known it was only a matter of time before she got beyond the initial shock and horror of the shooting and began to ask questions about it and his connection or rather how his lifestyle entered the picture. He’d tormented himself over the fact that once she put all the pieces together, she’d no longer accept the inherent risk to herself, and she would walk away.
“And then when you explained about Evangeline, you mentionedhow she was used against Drake—how she could still be used against him,” she continued on without waiting for him to respond. “It stands to reason if anyone important to Drake or to any of you could be used against you, then that same threat exists to me, doesn’t it?”
Fuck.
While he knew this conversation was inevitable and that she deserved nothing but the full, ugly truth, he’d hoped to delay it until she was fully recuperated and in a much better frame of mind.
“Yes, princess,” he said in a low voice. “That’s exactly what it means.”
“And the reason you’ve always had your brothers with me when you couldn’t be wasn’t because of your need for control and absolute order in your life but rather because you perceived there to be a legitimate threat to me or to all of you at any time.”
Again, he nodded and grimly said, “Yes.”
He realized he was holding his breath, and as tears filled her eyes as the knowledge was confirmed, the ugly truth there to see in her expressive eyes, his dread increased a hundred times over. The sensation of her slipping away from him hadn’t been his imagination or a manifestation of his worst fear. It was very real and now was the moment she saw him for the monster he truly was and he lost everything.
“I can’t do this, Silas,” she said painfully, tears streaking down her beautiful face.
He closed his eyes, knowing he had no right to demand or even beg her to stay. She was in danger every single day by virtue of her association with him. How could he do anything but let her go when her life could very well depend on it?
“I never claimed to be a good man, princess,” he said gruffly, emotion thickening his voice. “I’ve done things...”
She lifted her head, her eyes sparking, her mouth falling open in shock.
“Not a good man?” she asked hoarsely.
His brow furrowed, bewildered by her reaction. Wasn’t the reason she was even now prepared to leave him because now she knew him for what he was?
“Silas, you’re the very best man I know. Your brothers. They’re all good men. You want to talk about the thingsyou’vedone? Do you forget that I’m the reason your brother is lying in a hospital after nearly dying because he was protecting me? I’m a liability to you all, Silas, and I won’t have that. I will never allow myself to be used against you or your brothers. To hurt you or any one of them. I could never live with myself if the next time we weren’t as fortunate and someone or God forbid, you,diedbecause you were protecting me. I can’t do it. Iwon’tdo it,” she cried.
After her impassioned outburst, she turned and fled the kitchen, disappearing into the bedroom, leaving Silas utterly stunned and speechless.
What thefuck?
Realization was slow in coming, and when it did it had the effect of a lightning bolt. She wasn’t leaving because of him or who he was. She had seen the heart of him, the very essence of the man he was, and she wasn’t repulsed or disappointed. God. She was leavingforhim. Toprotecthim.
Ohhellno.
It washisgoddamn job to protecther. And the job of every one of his brothers. They’d lose their shit every bit as much as he was about to lose his if they heard all she’d had to say.
Then he realized she’d just told him she was leaving him and was likely in the bedroom packing when she was in no condition to even be up and moving around. He let out a roar and charged after her, catching her before she even made it to the closet.
He grabbed the arm on her uninjured side and whirled her around, ever mindful of hurting her. But at the moment he wasn’t backing down. He was practically snarling, baring his teeth as he seethed inrage at the idea of herleavinghim because she was worried she was a liability to him, for fuck’s sake.
She stared at him, worry bright in her eyes. “Silas, what—?”
“Not. A. Word,” he said, cutting her off.
Her expression was a whirl of confusion and faint shock over his vehemence, but she’d unleashed the deadly predator that always clawed so close to the surface. If she truly couldn’t accept him, then he’d have no choice but to let her go, but he’d fight her tooth and nail over the ridiculous notion of her walking out of his life in order to protect him and his brothers.
He heaved a breath, the words, protests and denials swirling like a tornado in his mind, and tried to compose himself enough to make damn sure she understood that he would not tolerate her making such a drastic decision.
He carefully wrapped his hand around her throat, feeling the reassuring thud of her pulse, how it leapt in response to his fingers circling her delicate neck. His eyes narrowed as he stared intently at her.
“I was willing to let you leave once you knew the type of man I am. It would have taken the last piece of my black soul, but I would have let you go. But if you think you’re leaving me for my own good, as a way of protecting me or my brothers, you’re out of your fucking mind. You’re mine, Hayley, and I will not let go of what is mine. I protect what’s mine. You do not and will not ever protect me. You get me?”
