“No, who is she toyou?” Hayley said scornfully. “You don’t go on regular dates with the wife of a man you consider a brother and refuse to offer any sort of explanation to someone you claim is important to you unless that brother’s wife means more to you than she should. Why do you constantly drop everything on a dime for Evangeline?Why do you and your men refuse to even speak about her around me, like she’s some huge damn secret and all of you are so protective of precious Evangeline?”
She broke off with a choked sound of pain that ripped his guts right out of him. Before he could even collect himself to respond to her deep upset, she forged relentlessly on.
“But most of all, why do I get pawned off on your men and shoved aside and completely forgotten for another man’s wife? If she’s so precious and everyone loves her so damn much, then why couldn’t one of the others go do whatever it was you did with her so you could come to an event you not only promised me you would attend but knew how important it was to me? I kept telling myself I was being hasty and jealous and too fast to jump to conclusions. I gave you the benefit of the doubt over and over again when it’s obvious that I was right to be suspicious all along. Last night showed me in exacting detail exactly where I stand on your list of priorities and it’s not very damn high,” she said so low he almost didn’t hear.
But he had heard. Every single word. And now he watched as endless streams of tears slithered down her pale, ravaged face. At first he’d been shocked at the conclusions she’d drawn. He’d felt immediately defensive, angry even, his instinct to correct her very bad opinion of Evangeline, but then he realized she was exactly right. Furthermore, she didn’t know Evangeline, because as she’d said, he and his brothers had shut her down at every turn out of duty and loyalty to both Evangeline and Drake, never recognizing the fact that the two women should have absolutely been introduced. His relationship with Evangeline explained. The lack of trust both he and his brothers had demonstrated toward her was appalling and unforgivable.
Looking at the matter from her perspective, he cringed.Fuck.All the times he’d left her so he could handle Evangeline’s detail. The phone calls. The “dates.” Missing tonight’s recital, when he knew how important itwas to her, and as she’d so aptly said, pawning her off on his men, making her their duty instead of his. What a complete fucking idiot he’d been. How she hadn’t walked out on him a long time ago, he’d never know, but he was extremely grateful for her generous and forgiving spirit and the fact that until now she’d always given him the benefit of the doubt.
He was gutted. He’d put his loyalty to Drake above his commitment to Hayley, and in the process bruised the heart of this beautiful woman. He should have gotten Drake’s permission to tell her the full situation from the beginning and if Drake had refused, told her about Evangeline anyway, but he’d never in a million years thought she would believe another woman was more important to him. All the years of secrecy were so deeply ingrained, a huge part of the man he’d become, and it might have cost him the one woman he’d ever bared his deepest secrets to. The only person who made his past bearable and most of all, the only person to have ever made him forget and make peace with it.
He shattered completely on the inside, his devastation surely as evident on his face as it was on hers and in her eyes. He gathered her gently in his arms, taking extreme care not to jostle her. Ignoring the fact that she went rigid the moment he enfolded her in his embrace, he pressed his lips gently to hers and then rested his forehead against hers.
“I am so sorry, my beautiful, sweet girl,” he said around the knot in his throat. “Never in a million years would I try to hurt you or make you doubt me in any way, though I can see now how very careless I was and why you feel as you do. I not only owe you my sincerest apology, but also a very belated explanation as well. I hope when I have fully explained that you will find it in your beautiful, loving heart to forgive me for ever causing you so much pain.”
He lifted up just enough that she could see into his eyes, his heart, and recognize his absolute sincerity when he, for all practical purposes, got on his knees and begged her forgiveness.
Her eyes lifted to meet his, hope flaring in her beautiful gaze. Shelooked so hopeful and sad at the same time that it broke his heart all over again, and he wished with everything he had that he could go back and undo all the damage done to this precious woman.
He gathered her hands in his and lifted them to press a kiss into each soft palm and felt her tremble softly beneath his mouth.
“Evangeline is Drake’s very beloved wife. He met her less than a year ago and she was the first woman to ever soften any of our hearts. No, my precious girl, don’t look like that,” he said when her gaze grew somber at his words and immediately lowered. “Hayley, look at me, please,” he begged softly.
Reluctantly, she did as he asked, and he gripped her hands a little tighter.
“None of us had ever dared become involved with a woman. Not with the ever-present threat that exists to us and anyone or anything we value. Drake fell hard for Evangeline from the start, but he fucked up quite badly with her. More than once. He didn’t trust her and as a result, she suffered greatly for his mistake. Maddox and I formed an unbreakable friendship with Evangeline, but nothing remotely romantic ever evolved from our friendship. Maddox and I offered her support and a refuge when Drake very cruelly tossed her out of his life without any means of survival. Unbeknownst to us at the time, she was pregnant, and once Drake realized his mistake, Evangeline wasn’t so forgiving of him. It was a rough time for them both and when she came back, I continued to be a steady source of support and friendship to her. My absolute loyalty has always been to Drake and his protection and by proxy anyone important to him or anyone who could be used to manipulate or hurt him.”
Silas sucked in a deep breath, realizing he was making a complete muck out of things.
“The world my brothers and I exist in is a very dangerous one as I’m sure you’re well aware, judging by the amount of security we alwaysuse and the fact that you and Zander were gunned down less than twenty-four hours ago,” he said painfully.
“As such, I am routinely called upon to guard Evangeline when Drake or one of the others can’t. We rotate shifts, but when Evangeline was in the early stages of her relationship with Drake, I started a routine of bringing takeout to her apartment once a week, something that continued upon her return to the city and has carried on especially during her pregnancy. By necessity she lives a very isolated life with few friends and little contact with her family save Drake and the rest of us. She’s sacrificed much to remain in Drake’s life, and so the rest of us try to do what we can to make her isolation more bearable.
“When I met you, I had never imagined being in Drake’s situation. Of being made vulnerable by another person, especially a woman. I admit, I handled things poorly and I didn’t factor in the changes it would mean for me and the fact that I now owed anyone but Drake and myself an explanation for my actions or choices.”
He sucked in another long breath and looked pleadingly at her, knowing he was to the part of the apology and explanation where he had to beg her to overlook his many mistakes and be willing to give him another chance.
“Never once have I even looked at another woman since before or after meeting you. Not in the way I look at you. I’ve never felt this way about another woman. I care for Evangeline, yes, but as a little sister and nothing more. I look out for and protect her as I would a sibling, but I’ve never felt for her—or any woman—what I feel for you, and I am so deeply sorry I let you down, princess. Since Drake asked me personally to be the one who went with Evangeline to her doctor’s appointment and then to her Lamaze class, I didn’t feel as if I could say no. But I should have. And I’ll never make that mistake again if you’ll forgive me and give me another chance to make you happy, my beautiful girl.”
Her eyes swam with tears again as she stared up at him, her chinand mouth trembling. A single tear slipped down her cheek, and he leaned forward to kiss it away, no longer able to bear the sight of her tears.
“Forgive me, princess,” he whispered against her damp skin. “Please come home with me so I can take care of you and spoil you ridiculously.”
“You already spoil me ridiculously,” she choked out.
She ended her statement in a sob and then tears gushed down her face and she clutched at his chest with her hands, pulling him downward.
As soon as he lowered himself enough, she circled him with her arms and buried her face against his neck, her tears wet against his skin. He stroked his hand over the back of her head, threading his fingers through her tangled hair.
“I-I’m sorry,” she sobbed.
“No. No! You have nothing to be sorry for, my darling.”
His own throat tightened and he felt the threat of answering tears. So much worry, pain and ultimate relief, both that she was going to be all right and that she was giving him another chance. It was more than he’d ever hoped for.
“Shhh, princess. You have to stop crying. I can’t stand it. I’d do anything at all to keep you from ever crying.”
“Is Zander really going to be all right?” she asked fearfully, her words muffled against his neck.
