Mom sits beside me. “What is?”
“Everything.” I lean back and stare at the ceiling. “Remember when I told you I was fake dating Miles?” She nods. “Well it snowballed. One date led to another and then another, and more recently I went to game night with him and his family. They invited me to their cabin weekend. They were planning activities around me. Making inside jokes. Treating me like I’ve been there forever.”
She smiles softly. “They sound lovely.”
“They are lovely,” I snap—and immediately deflate. “That’s the problem.”
She tilts her head. “Explain.”
I drop my gaze to the light, golden liquid. “I’m lying to them, Mom. All of them. They’re kind and welcoming and warm, and they deserve something real. And I’m just… there. Sitting in their living room, laughing, playing games, pretending to be something I’m not. The worst part is every minute that passes, it gets harder to remember that it’s fake. They treat me like I belong—and I’m starting to want that. It’s starting to feel like we’re a couple,” I continue, my voice thinning. “A real couple. And I can’t—” My throat tightens. “I can’t let myself go there.”
“Why not?”
I exhale a short, bitter laugh. “Because look at him, Mom. He’s too perfect. Too good. Too smart. Too… everything. He deserves someone who actually fits into his life.”
“And you don’t think that’s you?”
I shake my head. “No. It’s not.” The words come easier once I start. “I’m a mess. I work at a bar. I live in a studio apartment the size of a shoebox. I don’t have a five-year plan. I don’t even have a two-year plan. I’m barely managing things one week at a time.” A tear slips free before I can stop it. “And he deserves someone who isn’t… lost.”
Her hand tightens around mine. “Sweetheart, being lost isn’t a flaw.”
“It feels like one,” I whisper.
She exhales, brushing her thumb over my knuckles. “Nora… you think you’re protecting him by holding yourself back. But what you’re really doing is protecting yourself.”
I turn away. “Mom?—”
“No,” she says, still gentle but firmer now. “You need to hear this. You’re not afraid of lying to his family. You’re afraid you might actually belong with them. You’re afraid of wanting something you’re scared you won’t get to keep.” She pauses, then adds quietly, “He deserves someone kind. Someone who shows up. Someone who makes his family laugh. Someone who looks at him the way you do when you think no one’s watching.”
My breath catches. She saw that?
“Nora, you’re not afraid of Miles being too perfect. You’re afraid of being happy.”
My breathing stutters as more tears threaten to break loose.
She squeezes my hand to make sure I’m paying attention. “You deserve good things too, sweetheart. You just have to stop running from them.”
I swallow past the tight ache in my throat. “I don’t know how.”
“That’s okay,” she whispers. “Miles seems patient enough to help you figure it out.”
I close my eyes, letting the truth of that sink in. I know he would. That’s not the problem. The problem is bigger.
“I’m not the one he wants,” I say quietly. “This started because he asked me to help him practice—so he could impress another woman. She’s the one he wants.”
And it’s the truth. And it stings. So fucking much.
Twenty-Six
How To Avoid Your Problems
Nora
His mom wrapping me in a hug, telling me I’m always welcome here. His sisters inviting me to girls’ day. The laughter. The noise. The ridiculous arguments over rules and traditions like the Freezer Feast. None of that was fake. And that’s what makes this entire situation wrong. I don’t feel guilty because I might get hurt. I feel guilty because I let people be kind to me under false pretenses. Because I let them believe something about me, and about us, that isn’t true. I know who I am. And I don’t take comfort in knowing I haven’t been honest.
Miles didn’t do anything wrong. He trusted me. He showed up. He held up his end of the bargain. If this continues, the lie won’t just be about fake dating anymore, it’ll be about me. And I don’t want to be that person. Not with him. Not with his family. And not with myself.
I close my eyes and breathe through the ache. An ache that has nothing to do with fear and everything to do with integrity. For the first time since all of this started, I know exactly what has to change. I just don’t know how.
