She nods immediately. “More than okay. Keep going. Don’t stop.”
I kiss her again, slower, but deeper, memorizing the shape of her mouth, the warmth of her skin, the way she moves with me as if we’re already in sync. Her fingers curl into my shirt, pulling me closer until there’s no space left. She keeps rocking against me, each shift sending a jolt through my body—every slide lighting up another nerve. My hand slips into her hair, cradling the back of her neck the way she liked last time.
Her breath hitches. “Good,” she whispers. “That’s… good. Keep going. I love your hands on me.”
Her lips crash to mine, hot and insistent, and I follow her lead without thinking. Her tongue traces the seam of my lips, and I open. She tilts her head, deepening the kiss as she slides her hips over mine. Again and again. A deep rumble builds in my throat. The sensation builds fast, too fast, until everything in me tips over all at once.
I groan. “Oh—Nora—I—” The words fall apart as the intensity hits harder than I’m prepared for, and I bury my face against the crook of her neck. Her arms tighten around my shoulders as her breath skates across the shell of my ear. “I’m sorry,” I say, still breathless. “I—uh.” I grip her waist, then hesitate, then finally shift her off me. She goes easily, settling beside me on the rocks, while I stare down and awkwardly drop my hands to the front of my pants as heat creeps over my cheeks.
Nora tilts her head, studying me with a look that makes me feel seen and undone all at once. “What’s wrong?”
I shift my weight. “Nothing. It’s—nothing.”
She brushes her hand slowly up and down my arm. “Miles. Talk to me. You can talk to me.”
I hesitate, shame creeping in. “It’s embarrassing.”
Her mouth quirks. “What—coming in your pants?”
I wince. “That obvious?”
She blinks, lips kiss-swollen, eyes warm. “Hey,” she whispers. “It’s okay.”
“No, I—” I drag in a shaky breath. “I really didn’t mean?—”
Her gaze drops, then lifts again slowly. “Miles, look at me.” When I don’t, she cups my cheek, her palm warm against my skin, and forces me to meet her gaze. “Don’t be embarrassed. That just means you liked it. I did too.”
My breathing stills. I did like it. I liked it because it was her.
She leans closer, lips brushing my ear. “It’s actually… really sexy. Knowing you enjoyed it as much as I did. It was hot.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” Her tone is calm, certain. “You enjoyed yourself so much you couldn’t control it.”
I let out a long breath. “For me, it doesn’t feel like that. There was this one time…” I trail off, gesturing awkwardly between us as if that should explain everything. “I was ready,” I mumble. “Or at least I thought I was. I wanted to. But as soon as I rolled the condom on, I—” I lift my hands helplessly. “My body just reacted.”
Her expression softens. “Miles, are you telling me you’ve never…?”
I shake my head, cheeks burning. “No. I haven’t had sex before. Not because I didn’t want to, but the one time I got close, my body reacted before it could happen.”
She doesn’t laugh or look surprised. She just nods, as if I’ve told her something ordinary instead of something that’s haunted me my entire adult life.
“First times, or almost-first times, are messy. They’re awkward. And look nothing like the movies. Honestly, I wish I would’ve waited.”
I glance at her. “Why?”
“I rushed into it because everyone else was doing it, and apparently I thought peer pressure was a solid life plan.” Her gaze drops to the rocks. “It wasn’t great. And afterward, he just… went back to his friends.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” She gives my arm a soft squeeze. “Your first time isn’t sunshine and rainbows. It’s not frolicking through a field while butterflies float around.” A small smile curves her mouth. “It’s more like a spinning carnival ride you only got on because you had a ticket and about five seconds in, you’re wondering if you can get a refund.”
A laugh escapes me. “That bad?”
“Yes, but,” she continues, her eyes softening, “once you get your balance back, you go again. Round two is usually much better.”
I swallow. “Round two…”
