I was retreating to a dark place inside myself no one was able to reach.
Achilles continued visiting me. He was the only person I communicated with, and even that was in order to hurt him for everything he’d done to me.
At first, I tried insults as a way to get him out of there.
“I don’t need to see your ugly face while I’m recovering,” I muttered when he walked through the door.
“Fair enough. I’ll turn around.” He stood and straddled the chair with his back to me. I watched his corded back through his olive-green Henley as he spoke. “Brought you some of that gross-ass fish soup you like, from the Russian deli on your street.”
“Ukha. I hate that soup.” I used to love that soup back when things still had flavor and meaning.
“I’ll throw it out the window, then.”
“I hate you, too. Can you jump out of it, as well?”
“Sure. But I’d probably choose a higher floor, just to be on the safe side.”
No matter how cruel and dismissive I was, the asshole kept coming back. When it was clear I wasn’t going to bully him out of my life, I pretended to be asleep every time he came by for a visit. It was the same strategy I used with Lila and Tiernan, and it worked like a charm.
Unfortunately, Achilles didn’t mind at all. He would settle in on the chair, crack openThe Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and start reading me our favorite parts. He remembered all of them, of course, including the ones that made me roll on the floor like a madwoman as a teenager, howling in delight. Even when I tried blocking his voice from my head, I’d still catch bits and pieces, and sometimes, my lips would curve into a traitorous smile.
He never mentioned it, but every time it happened, he raised his voice, going the extra mile, providing me with a dramatization, exaggerated English accent included.
The days crawled by at a maddening pace. Tiernan and Lila were beginning to see that I was avoiding them. The doctors and nurses were catching on to the fact that my silence and refusal to speak had nothing to do with my fractured skull and everything to do with my fractured soul.
I was drowning in memories, rarely coming up for air.
I felt every assault, every cut, every slap like they happened yesterday, and not when I was a kid.
And though I always knew that it happened, I was now forced to either come to terms with it or take matters in my own hands and end this misery.
I was too exhausted to make the decision. Too lethargic to even care.
For a while, it was all the same, a never-ending string of hours full of misery and despair.
Then, one day, gruff voices seeped from behind my door.
“You must be out of your fucking mind, lad,” I heard my brother growl. “I’m not letting you take her anywhere.”
“I’m the only one she speaks to,” Achilles argued back.
My heart picked up pace, reminding me it was still there in my chest. It was a strange notion, because in all the days since I’d woken up, I couldn’t feel it beat.
“She hates you,” Tiernan snarled.
“I know how to bring her back,” Achilles insisted.
“Are you even listening? Shehatesyou,” Tiernan said again.
“Look, I’m not fucking asking,” Achilles said, finally sounding like his old autocrat self. “I’mtellingyou I’m taking her somewhere to recoup. We can do it the nice, you-discharging-her-and-getting-updates way, or I can snatch her in the dead of night and make headlines neither of us wants. Either way, she’s coming with me. Make the better choice, Callaghan.”
“Fuck,” Tiernan muttered.
There were no words spoken after that.
And I knew that, as always, Achilles had won.
Chapter Forty
