The three of us laughed quietly. We were sitting in Lila’s kitchen, our respective beaus in the office upstairs, holed up and discussing God knew what.
“So…” Sofia looked between us, her teeth sinking into her lower lip nervously. “What does it feel like?”
“What does what feel like?” I asked.
“Being in love with the man you’re with.”
Lila and I exchanged looks. I wasn’t sure I was one to talk about a steady and healthy relationship. Achilles and I were in a good place, but we still had a few hurdles to get past.
Yes, we were back to fucking. Emphasis on the wordfucking. I still refused to give him what he wanted. My soul. Yes, I said the words. I loved him, and I couldn’t deny him. But for me, letting go, having tender, intimate sex, was the last wall between us.
I wasn’t going to make it easy for him to break.
He’d denied me pleasure with other people, and I couldn’t get past that. No matter how deeply I felt for him.
“You take the lead.” I cleared my throat, gesturing at Lila.
Lila smiled, turning back to Sofia. “It feels…like being in tune with the universe. But feeling secure and loved in a relationship is not a privilege, Sof. If Luca doesn’t give you what you’re looking for…”
“Then what?” Sofia’s expression was defeated. “I can’t divorce him. No one in our world is ever going to accept that outcome.”
“You don’t have to ask people for permission to live your life as you please,” I thundered.
“Easier said than done. Even you had Achilles monitoring your every move.”
She was right, and I could say nothing about it. In our world, women had to claw their way to freedom. Even that didn’t always help. As much as I knew my brother loved Lila, I doubted he’d ever let her go. She was his, and he’d die before giving her up.
“Is love completely off the table?” Lila murmured. It was so Lila to ask such a thing.
Sofia bowed her head, twisting her fingers in her lap. “That ship has sailed. Luca and I have no positive feelings toward one another.”
“And Jeremie?” I blurted out.
“Jeremie?” Sofia’s brows knitted. “What about him?”
Lila and I exchanged glances. How could she be so blind to the way he looked at her?
“You seemed…close.” Lila cleared her throat. “During dinner the other day.”
“Really? He’s super shy and completely disinterested. He wouldn’t even look me in the eye!” Sofia let loose a self-deprecating laugh.
“So you’ve never…?” I frowned.
She tilted her head sideways innocently. “Never what?”
“You know…”
Sofia’s eyes grew huge. “Oh,never. I doubt Jeremie is even capable of asking someone out. His social anxiety is worse than mine.”
This woman had no idea what was going on in her life.
I opened my mouth, about to clue her in, when Achilles, Luca, Enzo, and Tiernan descended the stairway, making themselves known while conversing loudly. The three of us immediately clammed up.
Achilles stopped behind me, putting his hands on my shoulders and kissing the crown of my head. “Ready to go, sweetheart?”
I nodded swiftly, standing up.
Tiernan rounded the table, placed his index finger under Lila’s chin, and raised her face to kiss her. The entire table watched as my brother took his sweet time showing his wife just how much he’d missed her over the last hour.
